Jeremy G

I enjoy pursuing big questions in research & teaching. Fan of puns.

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

During the applause after the plane landed I reflexively said "Encore!" and now we're doing the flight over again and nobody here likes me

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@GOtransit Thank you for the extra New Year's Eve service! Do the late-night express Lakeshore West trains (from Aldershot) stop in Oakville? https://t.co/MUGfWHzWgi

[Dan Ariely @danariely]

Why do we make such bad decisions about money? Join me & @BEworksInc at our BE Summit for Science in Financial Services https://t.co/zTZwKb2kPu

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@_spacecraf_ Though this tweet is not intended to encourage suicide, the wording can give the impression that it does. Please take it down. https://t.co/oekrWuCRcO

[Fariba @fnosrati]

Great talk by Jeremy Gretton on how to improve direct mail programs! @TRSMRyersonU #SOBDR

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@fnosrati @TRSMRyersonU Thank you!

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

Dale Griffin’s opening keynote at #SOBDR @TRSMRyersonU ! @BEworksInc

[George Aylett @GeorgeAylett]

Think the Laurel or Yanny thing is weird?

You can hear the words ‘Brainstorm’ or ‘Green Needle’ based on which word you think about. Try it.

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@judgejeudi Thank you!
This one from another tweeter:
https://t.co/MJD3kSdBb6
And these from me:
https://t.co/K3TYOpnT2w
https://t.co/kabxIvG8si

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

"You always have to have the last word, don't you?"
~Lexicographers fighting over who gets to write the definition for 'Zyzzyva'

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@TheToddWilliams Yanni saved twice his salary by the time he was 35. Laurel did not.

[ŵ͂̌́͝͡ylde d̵̛̛̜͉̰͈̩͙͌̈̉̆̋̊͡͡e b̡͇̲̏́̐̓̐́̇eest @flashember]

Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, or the fact that i can't open pickle jars without mom's help. also my fear of bees is not weakness

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@MLifaro @TheToddWilliams @JullianHe @flashember it would behoove you to be honest!

[Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams]

[calling in sick]

BOSS: This is the third time in a month you've had a stomach flu...How is that even possible?

ME {trying to not let on I'm a cow}: Well I definitely have only one stomach that's for sure

[Natalie @jbfan911]

Why is “silly goose” a phrase have u ever met a goose they are the most serious and powerful dinosaur lookin monsters I’ve ever encountered not one of them is silly

[Kelly Meldrum @KellyMeldrum]

Banana bread french toast is my favorite way to eat sugar and fat drenched in sugar and fat.

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@KellyMeldrum Congrats 2 you! Thanks!
https://t.co/7OIyZv8q5p
https://t.co/HTdYhO5AW7

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

HER: I like guys who are self-aware
HIM: [trying to impress her] We're fictitious characters in a tweet

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

Thanks, @theSolemnBard! https://t.co/3zbocobDPi

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

Which country is the roundest?

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

@fro_vo thanks fro the froback!
https://t.co/QSWe9JTZlc
https://t.co/iOwe7eHFBA

[Jeremy G @JeremyCanadian]

[Police officers at the door]
COPS: Mr. Conley?
We're here because we have reason to suspect...
that current models of the atom are inadequate
MR. CONLEY: Uh... why... did you tell me?
COPS: Well we had to tell someone