Jess Parker

Master of nothing except procrastination. I like cats

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Instagram and Facebook are currently not working, as are democracy, society and a healthy sense of self.

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

Team 'I Refuse to Turn my Heat Back On Even if I Have to Wear My Winter Coat Indoors' #16degreesC

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

Things I do with my spare time:
1. Play Jenny LeClue
2.

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

If I had over a million dollars I would happily pay a wealth tax. HAPPILY.

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

Casually thinking about how most people will never see 1 millon dollars in their lifetime yet are still against a wealth tax

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

The best part about my job (where I communicate primarily in French) is triple checking every email for grammar and spelling and then receiving a reply from an actual francophone like "ok sa march pour moi"

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

I would literally rather eat broccoli than funfetti cake

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

I haven't been on twitter in like 2 years but I need people to know that funfetti cake is the worst kind of cake. White cake already sucks and adding artificially colored bunny poops to "spice it up" is deceptive and mean

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

@lushcosmetics I ordered some lush products online in an attempt to reduce the amount of plastic packaging I'm consuming. I was very disappointed to see that the products were packed with a lot of styrofoam 😥 would you consider using paper instead of plastic in future? #EarthDay

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

@Perkful @Spun_G This is amazing ❤️ I've heard other pop-to-punk by different bands but this one was honestly the best I've heard by far!!

[50 Nerds of Grey @50NerdsofGrey]

“Oh!” she sighed. “Oh! Oh! Oh! One! Oh! One! One! One! Ohhhhhhh!!!!”
You can’t beat a binary orgasm.

[Satan @s8n]

Yes it did hurt when i fell from heaven

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

@Spun_G @Fidomobile #thatVBoxlife

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

@Perkful @starfishesloveu Actually breathing also causes cancer so we were all doomed anyways #drinkup

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

I've already pulled out my big ski jacket. Today is the day #firstminustempoftheyear

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

Currently crying in Starbucks because that's what "This is Us" does to me

[Jess Parker @JessParksCars]

Serious question: is a "layered salad" even a salad?? Or is it just a veggie cake with lettuce icing