Jessica Raison

im jess, im a ferocious marshmallow

[Jessica Raison @JessRabbid]

PSA: don’t call female phone agents sweetie. It boils our blood

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(360): We could just stay sober.

(909): No! We tried that once.

(909): It sucked.

[Geraldine Just Follow TheEverywhereist on Threads @everywhereist]

The Joker should have been a woman. And she finally went insane because too many random dudes told her to smile, so now she perpetually smiles while terrorizing Gotham.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i was playing with my stuffed fren sebastian. when his arm fell all the way off. there’s no need to worry. because among many other things. my human is a surgeon

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i’m a simple pup. i don’t need much. just your attention at all times. and for everyone i ever meet to love me a whole bunch

[Bayside @BaysideBand]

If you hear this and you think you're ready, then meet me in Montauk where we'll write out in the sand... #baysidebandtattoos

[. @MarisaKabas]

the process of moving is not worth it. live exactly where you live now til you die.

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(912): I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.

[Rumbi Tauro @rumbitauro]

I’m getting a lil bit too expensive for myself lately

[maybe: clare @clur19]

Your boyfriend is extremely unattractive and Ariana’s song doesn’t apply to him. Stop worrying about it. Stop tweeting about it.

[S @sageyblanco]

anxiety: something is SERIOUSLY wrong

me: ok what

anxiety: hell if I know

[Kevin Skaff @Kevineffinskaff]

Car company: wanna see our concept car?

Me: No

Car company: we will show you anyway
*releases pictures*

Me: cool when is it, or any of its technology for sale?

Car company: never

Me:

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i just found out. that not everything is about me. and i’m devastated. to say the least

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

Tag someone who's cute but needy af

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

this may surprise you guys but i’m very thankful for dogs