Jimmy

I selled cheese

[Jimmy @Jimmylayspipe]

@lesleygoynes My legs also don't work

[cabby @cabby]

If they didn't want you to crash your car they wouldn't have spent the past 60 years trying to make it as safe as possible for you to do so

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

sometimes the green sauce is spicier than the red, despite being the color of medicine or soothing jungle foliage. there's no way to adequately account for this

[ariel @donotdelay]

Being raised in an anti SpongeBob household is a lifelong social handicap and lowkey abusive

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Dentists be like hello I am your dentist and this is my harem

[redrum @griffisu]

eventually there will be an infant capable of handling 115° car interior we just have to keep trying

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

we got 5 dollar gas and they're just dumping heavy cream into the mountain dew its lit

[Spectra @spectraimsim]

fort wayne, indiana

[noah @Noahbout_it]

new cleveland

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

driving barefoot feels like when they connect their hair to the dragon in avatar

[Joov @JoovYT]

Deepest recorded Thalmor Embassy run

[Culter Dei Snapdragon @_cream_gravy]

The strongest natural predator of the elderly is now learning to hunt on its own

[m @skitzocat]

computa pls don't do this to me

[Alex @AlexShaneMoore]

Holding up a jar of pickles to the cashier and asking if these are “the real deal” neither of us knows what I mean, but I have a gun

[David Willis @ThePrimalDino]

WHERE ARE THE EARTH-RISE SHOTS

[Isaac @DisclosureDay_]

You reckon you could light a buzzball on fire and just lob it at people like you’re the green goblin with his pumpkin bombs

[rio 🪲🏳️‍🌈 bug oomf @colligocritters]

GET HIS ASS MY CRUSTACEAN‼️

[barky🍦 @barkery91]

you should have to beat halo 2 on heroic to vote in federal elections

[Viggie Smalls @Viggie_Smalls93]

Perhaps this Taco Bell will help my acid reflux

[jimmy toots @futtywap]

Time to fight back