Joe Pontillo

Comedian/influencer. Two comedy specials and Pontillo & Associates on YouTube. Went viral twice. Meant nothing.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

The only thing that can heal this country or if you feel like hate-watching something for 36 minutes.

https://t.co/IhTBA6NWje

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Feeling responsible for every election outcome by responding to each political text with "No", "Please stop", "I don't live in your state", or "Lol".

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@YJCH0I Ugh that's exactly how I look right now!

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Things to say when someone sneezes:
- I don't respect you.
- God can't help you.
- Take that shit outside.
- This is why you're alone.
- Now I need a shot.
- This used to be a nice neighborhood.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Squirrels are the only animal that's on 24/7 suicide watch.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@KingTaylorTT He said that!?

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Whoever put it there in the first place should also go to jail.

[Variety @Variety]

Russell Brand’s Pubic Hair Removed From London Museum After Rape Conviction, Curator Says 'I Have No Desire to Hear His Name Again' https://t.co/TgwiYU9eR6

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

"Hey buddy, how about I come to where you work and start loudly arguing politics?"

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

"Don't quit your day job." - Anonymous

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Oh no this blew up (Like a sneeze) go watch my pilot or subscribe or block me.

https://t.co/FKjMqAMy70

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@Owoj10 Goes without saying!

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@fucktomcruise As a regular sneezer I,

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

You do not under any circumstances need to send me a video of another comedian doing jokes about being Italian.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@andersjazz *high fives higher than ever thought possible*

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@yikesalright Way overdue.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

I'm still on Kmart's layaway plan. I think I'm almost in the clear.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@GravySauceCream DEAL WITH IT!

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

I am currently DMing with a cracker company. Hold my calls.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Neither political party will pass a law that limits the amount of people who can legally call themselves a comedian.

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

@ClarkLonda And yours got 1 like and 3 unfollows!

[Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo]

Don't worry, I am also still mad about a mediocre joke I posted on here in 2017.

[Buddawiggi @MarkBuckawicki]

@JoePontillo We are all still mad