Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies

I came here to make stupid jokes and chew bubblegum, and I’m all outta bubblegum.

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

Adopted this lil cutie last week

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

My man @ZanderTorresPro is 0-2 vs flipped tables on TV

[All Elite Wrestling @AEW]

.@RealWardlow imposing his will on the #AEW Security as @The_MJF cowers behind @ShawnSpears! #AEWDynamite is LIVE on @TBSNetwork!

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

This Ain't a Gender Reveal, It's an Arms Race

[Jason Schreiber @Schreibernews]

UPDATE: Kingston police say approx. 80 pounds of Tannerite were used at that gender reveal party that caused a massive explosion that shook homes for miles. Man who detonated it has turned himself in to police and is cooperating. Police haven’t decided on charges. @UnionLeader

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

“Do not attempt” what @Geico? That man is half motorcycle. Did his dad have sex with a motorcycle? Is that what you’re telling me not to attempt?

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

@blumenfeld “I still have dreams about them!”
“Nightmares?”
“No, Ashmir....Dreams”

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

The Bowling For Soup song “1985” about a mom feeling old and out of touch came out in 2004, 19 years after the year 1985. In 3 years, the song “1985” will be 19 years old.

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

My dog got ahold of my @BobsBurgersFOX Funko Pop doll and he only went for the burger

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

History books won’t be able to capture how dumb this time period was

[Mediaite @Mediaite]

Trump Says He's Down to Participate in a 4-Hour Debate With Biden on Joe Rogan's Podcast https://t.co/ckIbMMrW6B

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

If someone switched JG Wentworth and Joe Biden, I probably would not notice

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

@espn He didn’t realize they were people, not property

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

On a scale of 1 - 10 for “ability to get in touch with LeBron”, where 1 is me and 10 is Dwyane Wade, I think Jared Kushner is a 3

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

This has real “sucking up to the teacher” energy

[Sahil Kapur @sahilkapur]

At the RNC roll call, speakers are touting the proudest achievements of their state as they cast their ceremonial nomination votes. Alabama designee boasts that it is the state with the highest approval rating for Trump.

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

it's only called ennui if it's from the ennui region of france, everywhere else it's just sparkling boredom

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

Well with Jazz, it’s all about the games you DON’T play

[Adrian Wojnarowski @wojespn]

Utah Jazz guard Mike Conley Jr., is clearing quarantine soon and will be in lineup for Game 3 against Denver today, sources tell ESPN. Conley returned to Orlando on Monday night after attending the birth of his son, Elijah.

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

It’s a shame they won’t be able to keep track of stats or wins there. Since what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Raiders will be getting in their first work at Allegiant Stadium today, conducting a scrimmage at 1 PM. The team’s home opener is exactly one month from today, September 21, vs. the Saints.

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

@XavierWoodsPhD Did you ask Bo or Bray for their dad’s help?

[Ray Kump @RayKump]

In lieu of flowers please just desecrate my grave.

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

@SportsCenter @NFL The NFL Combine is a LIE! No players ever get combined to form one larger superplayer, as the name would imply. They always end up with the same number of players as they started with!

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

@ESPNNBA Not very monk-like behavior

[Jersey Joe's Rodeo Ponies @JoesRodeoPonies]

@ESPNNBA “Seven Seconds or Less”, the name of my sextape