Joe Bruce

[jake @wormpuller]

Idgaf if you’re a student driver I got Instagram reels to watch so stay out of my way

[Jimmy DeLuca, MBA @JimmyDeLuca6]

Viewed a girl’s LinkedIn profile (she has premium)

[david @arthritic_papi]

guy spent 5 mins trying to convince him his ID was legit... losing my mind

[Richard Cranium @RichardCranny69]

She let me use her gas rewards points to fill my truck up after the first date so naturally I told her I loved her way too early and ruined everything
#ThatsBaseball

[UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1]

accounts payable son or accounts receivable daughter

[Alfred “The Machine” Brown @Al_Brown313]

Me blacked out in the back of my Uber asking if it’s been a busy night

[nice young man @dylmichaelc]

coming up with a word between like and love to use with my situationship

[ARROW @phresh_arrow]

Women on a first date:
1. Sharing location.
2. Checking exits.
3. Texting friends the address.
4. Preparing an escape plan.

Men on a first date:
1. Praying she doesn’t order a dessert.

[Jeremiah Smith @JJwiththeshifts]

Dude, I actually got chills from your semester dump. Pictures of you and the same 5 guys on 10 straight slides with John summit in the background? Goosebumps all over

[SaudiBoi @notSaudiBoi]

nyc smoke event was lit

[Richard @DickMcDermott_]

Facing the reality I might need a j*b next semester

[Garcia @GarciaCap]

Listening to an earnings call for a company I have 0.7 shares in

[Malik☂️ @maliktheoracle]

This guy wanted me to invite yall to his cigarette party next week

[⋆˚࿔ @Indenials6]

Okaaaayyyyyy let me juuuuuuuust shaaaaaaaaare my screeeeeeen...
okaycanyouseeit?

[Rustin Cohle @infinitecohle]

Fine

[sara @levantlifts]

don’t text me for advice

[Matt Fassnacht @fuzznacht]

This is a bar from @PGATOUR on MLB’s Instagram

[sami “money” 𝐎smani @duckindenver]

made eye contact with an absolute 10 at the gym. skipped my last exercise and immediately went home