The work one. I tell myself I’ll stop at 6 and then it’s 11pm and I’m still answering Slack because I’m scared the whole thing will fall apart if I don’t.
All three, honestly. But the fear of loss is the loudest right now. My partner travels a lot for work and the days before they leave I get weirdly distant without meaning to.
Fear of loss. My best friend moved across the country and I didn’t realize how much I was bracing for the friendship to fade until it actually started to.
Loving people. I get anxious and controlling when I care about someone because part of me thinks if I just manage everything perfectly they won’t leave.
The ambition one. I want kids and a calmer life, but my career is finally taking off and I’m scared if I step back even a little I’ll lose the momentum I fought for.
Ambitions without sacrifice. I turned down a trip with my siblings last month because of a deadline. They went without me and I still feel weird about it.
Work has completely eaten me. I had a breakdown in the car last week because I realized I hadn’t had a conversation that wasn’t about work in almost two weeks.
The fear of loss. I have a toddler and some nights I stay up just watching them sleep because the thought of anything happening to them makes me feel physically sick.
Loving people without the fear. Lost my dad two years ago and now every time someone I care about is quiet for a few hours my brain immediately goes somewhere dark.