Keve van Ass

My specialty is skewering bureaucratic idiocy. Will block any blatant partisan fuckwittery.

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

The diorama thread...

Love among thieves

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

A firing without being directly fired...😂

[Elliotte Friedman @FriedgeHNIC]

In a major development, the Red Wings announce Steve Yzerman is stepping down as the team’s head of Hockey Operations and becoming an advisor to Chris Ilitch.

A search for the team’s next President/GM is underway

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

So in other words, Brady was fucking soft when push comes to shove, instead of the warrior he was made out to be.

[Gino Hard @GinoHard_]

Matthew Tkachuk believes joining the Panthers will elevate Brady's game because he no longer has to carry the weight of an entire franchise 👀🐱

(via @PatMcAfeeShow)

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

lol

[OpenAI Newsroom @OpenAINewsroom]

We recently submitted a confidential S-1. We expect it to leak so we’re just announcing it. We have not decided on timing yet; it may be a while because there are things we want to do that are likely easier as a private company. But it’s a complicated set of tradeoffs and this gives us the option to go public sooner if that ends up being best.

This announcement is being made pursuant to Rule 135 under the Securities Act of 1933, as amended, and does not constitute an offer to sell or the solicitation of an offer to buy any securities. Any offers, solicitations of offers to buy, or any sales of securities will be made in accordance with the registration requirements of the Securities Act.

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Fuck off Chris Bowen, you dopey 🤡. 😂😂😂

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Pauline Hanson is the sort of person who is fine for pointing out problems.

But no way in hell you let her solve those problems.

As detestable as Trump is, Hanson couldn't hold his jockstrap.

[The Australian @australian]

Opinion: It is past time to terminate Hanson’s free ride as a celebrity. Here's why: https://t.co/peaHcPbXtA

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

@Geez_Mate

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

@rdryan33

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Fuck the Habs. 😏

[NHL @NHL]

THE HURRICANES ARE THE EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!! 🌀 #STANLEYCUP

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Fancy using Singapore as a bellwether test of EV uptake when car ownership is amongst the most costly in the world.

This author is a fucking 🤡. lol

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Let's be honest, Carolina's game 1 loss was an anomaly after a long spell from playing. 🤷

[NHL @NHL]

THE CANES ARE ONE WIN AWAY FROM THE #STANLEYCUP FINAL! 🌪️

Game 5 between the @CanadiensMTL and @Canes is FRIDAY at 8p ET on @NHL_On_TNT, @Sportsnet, & @TVASports!

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

On the other hand, you can also have the opportunity of being a member of the Qantas Chairman's Lounge, if your daddy is the Prime Minister of Australia. 😏

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Imagine completely revamping the capital gains tax for ALL asset classes and then pretending you're doing it for the kids' housing affordability (tax grab *cough*). 😂

Nice play by Clown Chalmers.

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Pretty sure you don't need a 5% deposit government scheme to do all three. lol

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Looking forward to the offseason without reading and listening to the insufferably toxic section of the fanbase.

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Count on him flinging his hands in the air and re-retires end of season. 😂

[Columbus Blue Jackets @BlueJacketsNHL]

THE BONES ERA CONTINUES 💥

We've signed Rick Bowness to a contract that will keep him with the club during the 2026-27 season!

📝 https://t.co/NH14UU0dmN

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

Looking at this rant makes me reflect on the adversity the Sens had (on and off ice) and how they managed to mentally overcome this with their playing group.

Hate to be in CBJ situation right now. 😬

[NHL News @PuckReportNHL]

An emotional and angry Rick Bowness goes OFF on his #CBJ team after their 2-8-1 finish to the season: “These guys, they don’t care. Losing is not important enough to them … If I’m back, we’re changing this freaking culture.”

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

DJ Smith leading his team as a (interim) head coach in the NHL. 😜

[NHL @NHL]

KINGS CLINCHED 👑

The @LAKings have secured a spot in the #StanleyCup Playoffs for the fifth consecutive season!

Presented by @PolymarketSport

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

@MoneyPuckdotcom Vegas at 10% winning the cup is overly generous

[Keve van Ass @Keve_van_Ass]

@UrinatingTree This team couldn't beat a Devils player with no stick off the puck towards the end of the game.

Talk about lack of desperation for a playoff contending team. lol