Me: no idea what to get you for Father's day.
Him: I don't need anything. I just want a day where I can just do my thing.
Me: so, a day like every other day, but with steak?
Some rival dads saw me filling up a 3 gallon gas can for the mower instead of a 1 gallon one and now there’s a rumor going around that we won a lawsuit or got an inheritance.