Mҽɱσɾყ

Mom of 3 weirdos.

I like you more than I like me.

[prance @bocxtop]

my not so hot take about why its rude to ask ppl how much they make is if there was transparency we would realize so quickly how much rich ppl are taking advantage of us

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Nobody offers to show me a cool rock they found anymore adulthood is so dumb.

[yelisa @beingyelisa]

*kids any other day*
I can’t find it, where is it, help me!

*kids on Easter*
I can see a small purple egg with pink polka dots hidden under that shrub 40 feet away, and by the way it’s laying in the grass it probably has 9 jellybeans inside.

[The Dad @thedad]

Being tired after spring break is a sign that lack of sleep was never the issue, but merely being alive

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

I think it's funny that after a car accident everyone is like "it came out of nowhere"

Because the alternative is like "yeah I saw that motherfucker but I figured I could take him"

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

I'm sure 4 kids fighting about who found the most eggs at 7 AM is exactly what Jesus had planned for today.

[MumInBits @MumInBits]

At bedtime I told 4 that mummy & daddy were going to have grown up time so she had to go straight to sleep but 7 minutes later she pounded on our bedroom door and yelled “GROWN UP TIME IS DONE NOW” and I’m still not clear how she knew

[MumInBits @MumInBits]

One of the worst side effects of the vaccine is my kids yelling really loudly all the time

[Not Another Pinterest Mom @xennial_mom]

Today 2 is officially 3, he woke up crying because he "doesn't want to grow up, but still wants cake" and I've never felt so connected to another person before

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

See you all at the next climate strike:)

[Shut Up Man!! @ShutUpMan_420]

It should never, ever, be illegal to give a fellow human being a drink of water.

[ace 🍓🍃 @adhdace]

“you’re not deaf or hard of hearing but you still need subtitles?”

yes jan, i still need subtitles

[Justin Amash @justinamash]

Imagine making it a crime to offer water to people waiting in line to vote.

[Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy]

The reason you make it a crime to give water to someone waiting in line to vote is so no one will give them water as lines are deliberately held up, and they will be more inclined to leave, and give up on voting to, you know, satisfy the human need of thirst.

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

ME: Is he going to make it?
DOCTOR: No. I’m afraid he’s down with the sickness
ME: *crying* oohwahahahah
DOCTOR: *holds hand* oohwahahahah

[eva @maladaptivegirl]

u have to be cringe when ur 12-14 bc otherwise u'll be cringe in ur 20s instead and thats just embarrassing

[prance @bocxtop]

post-pandemic i don’t want inspirational movies about how we “banded together in tough times” cuz all we did was find out our govt hates us and anything can be made out of cake