Kevin Knightly

Stand up. Worcester County Murders podcast 🔗⬇️

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Being drunk and Irish isn’t “fun” it’s literally a disease.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

I have United Healthcare. Is this like one of those situations where if your roommate dies you get all A’s?

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Stop sharing needles.
(having vinyl record parties)

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Excuse me it’s called BLACK Friday… why are you as a white person smiling because BLACK ops 6 is awesome?

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

You said you don’t know how to handle a bad trip? Grow up.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

I’m just grateful that every woman that’s ever hurt me is probably having a bad day.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

A haunted house except it’s just your parent’s house and you’re in your 30’s and you live there.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

An alternate universe where Freddie Mercury and Flash Gordon are still alive. Flash endorses Trump causing a rift in their relationship. An intense custody battle over the song “Flash” ensues.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

No dude, I don’t have THAT kind of charger. Leave me the fk alone.

[Liam Marr @realLiamMeagher]

@KnightlyKevin

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

King Richard and the Jizzy Blizzard

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Sex in a car? You mean the place where I eat all my meals!?

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

I love going to Planet Fitness*

*sitting at every machine staring at my phone for 20 minutes

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

People you bone on weeknights don’t count.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Anaconda (1997): is the bad guy on the same team as the snake?

[Anton vernooy @AntonVernooy]

every once in a while i add a couple of my own hand picked additions to the to the mini bar located in the hotel room.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Being a skinny man passed age 30 is a red flag for DRUGS 🚩

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Anyone that snitched in high school shouldn’t be allowed in dispensaries.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Life is like a box of condoms. I’ve never bought one.

[Kevin Knightly @KnightlyKevin]

Jacking it while 🤝 Stealing while on
on cocaine Xanax