Knorg

Born 1982. He/him. One of those thumb-lookin' dudes.

[Knorg @Knorg]

@used_robots Thanks man, I'll be back around when I can. Good luck to everyone.

[Knorg @Knorg]

Just having to take a bit of a twitter break. Mum's home from hospital for palliative care and I want to spend a lot of time with her, but I will make it back here sooner or later and catch up on all your stuff.

[❤️Hush Jared🤙 @HushJared]

I called my wife “hoss” once. Then some other things happened. Then we got divorced.

[Xennaissance Dad @XennDad]

Prosecutor: so you admit this is forgery, and you did it?

Me: yes

Jury: [gasps]

Me: In fact, everything I do, it's all...for jury

Jury: awwwww

[Ⓜ️isterD @MisterD78UK]

[post sexting]
Me: I do think there's something between us
Her: Apart from the 3000 nautical miles of ocean?
Me: What made you like this?
Her: Sexting doesn't tend to involve the birds and the bees talk, dummy.
Me: Ok, can I be frank here ?
her: More roleplay, really ?

[martha dumptruck 🚚🥤 @sa1martha]

*5 years into homeownership*

YOURE SUPPOSED TO CLEAN YOUR GUTTERS?!

[Logic Mirror 🐦 @RoderickMillar]

Humanity 3.0, by contrast, was a great improvement. Legs were back to two, and the coffee-making organ was much less prominent. Flying had been removed. The payment module was still there, however. "They've got to get their tuppence," Pam's mum kept explaining.
#SciFiFri

[Logic Mirror 🐦 @RoderickMillar]

The Pea had chased the Flea to the end of the known universe. They kept going, reckless. A large door was drawing near, incongruous among the stars. 'Do we knock?' asked the Flea's co-pilot. They did not knock. Galaxies shifted. A different universe, marigold in hue.
#SciFiFri

[Knorg @Knorg]

@Truthernonbot @RisingDarkstar The Thaw

[Knorg @Knorg]

Ask me anything and every reply will just be the title of a Star Trek episode.

[Knorg @Knorg]

@Erin1137 I hope it went well if you have already done it, and good luck if still to do it!

[Erin 🧠🥎🚴🏋🥊 @Erin1137]

I nearly had bacon go to waste in the fridge, so I fried it all up before it could go off

-me talking about my mistake as I eat bacon during every meal for the rest of the week

[K!mbęℜℒӭʏ Jahℜӭz MERHOF 1977✨♑️🐐💗👁🤳 @KmbJahzMERzf111]

When a bug flies past ur camera as u snap a picture, or it’s aliens. 🛸👽🤷🏻‍♀️

[Decks Index 🏴‍☠️ @lowdowndecks]

Don't trust people with poor eye contact. It's the handshake of the soul.

My artist rendering 😆

[Mike @CIAmike]

I don’t tweet a lot because I’m saving them most. I’m pretty sure I’ll be losing my mind soon and I want to have something to say after it happens.