LisaFT

Juggler of Life.
Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue!

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

"I merely asked if Trump is the best woman for the job. What's wrong with that? Woman in this context obviously covers men too," Jessica, MP

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

If you struggle to get your wife to do her share of the housework, it could be that your standards are too high or you criticise too much.

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

What's the secret to being a male MP & father? "Staying hydrated, moisturising my neck area & cheering up when women ask me to." Phillip

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

"We have decided not to change the name of our 'One woman tent' following complaints. Woman in this case obviously covers men too," Sue, MD

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

Dark by 7.30pm.... It will soon be tights and #ScaryHairyLegs season!

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

I appear to be an Estate Agent's best friend #househunting #nopropertytosell

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

@loosewomen Did your poll request age info? 75% may well want Imperial back but I would hazard a guess that your viewers are skewed to 35+

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

TODAY'S DEBATE: Can men in politics ever hope to be objective? Or will they always bring their male agenda & male identity to the table?

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

"I don't mind being called a 'stuntwoman' because I know it covers both women & men. Anything else would sound silly," Mark, stuntwoman.

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

"Yeah well, men say they don't want to be treated like eye candy, and then they flaunt their legs in trousers. I rest my case," Claire, CEO

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

"We don't mind being called 'crewwomen' because we know it covers both women and men," Dave, Steve & John, crewwomen. Thanks mates.

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

I love this feed, I feel amused and horrified all at the same time! https://t.co/XNoJU7FbP2

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

"Talking to men is a minefield. You have to avoid commenting on their hair, clothes, smile and penis. It's exhausting" Claire, CEO

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

Think carefully before you dial 999, is it really an emergency or can you #doitonline ? https://t.co/ICZnpVYTAt https://t.co/SWJw1obUv3

[Essex Police @EssexPoliceUK]

We take 3,500+ non-emergency calls a day. Help give us #MoreTimetoFightCrime + #doitonline https://t.co/KzhMBJMmyx

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

@EssexPoliceUK please tell me you're exaggerating? That's #shocking!

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

😂 https://t.co/rDUYvmWJ7T

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Responding as if you've just been wrongfully accused of murder when someone on the phone asks if you're still in bed

[Essex Police @EssexPoliceUK]

Come #OnDutyWith #EPDogs + step into the paws of PD Will to see how he detains a 'violent suspect' with @PcTonyMayo

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

@ghouloffical! https://t.co/9d4egK7ymQ

[IMATS @IMATS]

It's #NationalLipstickDay! What's your favorite shade?

Make-up by Rachel Montgomery

[Toni @GyptianMiss]

Teach your children how to think, not what to think. This is how people develop and the world will get better for it ✌

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

@ghouloffical https://t.co/ki4LMarLTE

[IMATS @IMATS]

Watch @karlapowellmua break all the rules as she teaches creative make-up at #IMATS London! https://t.co/R6KuGhNMRY

[LisaFT @LisaFreeTime]

Brilliant! https://t.co/qWp7Z0Bbh7