Plantera🌷🪴

Embrace the change, nothing lasts forever

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

free will is the micro level pattern disruptor
destiny is the macro fractal structure

[A @cryptdesires]

I'm not flirting I'm just funny and you like me

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

pro tip: Make your affirmations your passwords

ie I used TravelXXXX with the year I wanted to travel and I travelled the most I have ever that year.

I don’t use that anymore hence why it’s the example

[𝖗𝖆𝖍 @turahjeannie]

no reaction just my ancestors and angels whacking you for eternity

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

devastated your gone because you had such a big heart, that had to carry a lot. I am so proud of you for what you accomplished and this won’t take away from that.

I’ll always appreciate the time that our paths crossed

I’ll see you in the next one

[ashe @ashebytes]

@netcapgirl my hand is up to be an etsy witch apprentice

[ShawtyAstrology🧚🏽✨ @shawtyastrology]

scorpio, pisces, 8th house & 12th house placements when you make them angry: 😌😃

[Dr. Alex Wissner-Gross @alexwg]

https://t.co/zpW49yG4CR

[🍓🍓🍓 @iruletheworldmo]

https://t.co/GCz7g67znl

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

Two different accounts lol

[🫧𝐊𝐑𝐘𝐍 /̶/̶/̶/̶ @kryndolyn]

lowkey haunted

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

crying inside because my neighbors landscaping just destroyed the rose bushes the last owners planted 🥲

[Tao Lin @tao_lin]

I recommend not hating anything or anyone.

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

I’m tall so that’s why 7”

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

Hair is too long

I just burnt like an inch off on accident when cooking on gas stove

RIP

time to keep it up while cooking

Goal is to get down to by butt, it was halfway between my belly button and butt have like 6 inches to go… now 7 🙄

[Matt Kramer 🔪 @kramerposts]

You are one of the least normal people I’ve ever met (complimentary)

[fran @galacticidiots]

I think the universe is a hopeless romantic and I can prove it

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

Urges pass whether you do it or not.
The difference is who you become after.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Kevin Xu @kevinxu]

you’re not gonna believe this

[Plantera🌷🪴 @Littlebitplants]

crying over my kindergarten backpack

because little me didn’t like to because people would laugh when they saw it and back then little me didn’t know that they were laughing at the bag not me

and i’m sad I don’t have the bag anymore

it was a SpongeBob ripped his pants bag