Lost In Aisle Three

All of these are jokes, except for the ones that aren’t.

[Rich Harrington @McNarstle]

My opinions on Detroit are, and always will be, based on Robocop.

[Nuclear Winter @4SLars]

Sometimes you fall in love with a bad listener and sometimes you leave an unconscious man in an abandoned car.

[Lost In Aisle Three @LostInAisle3]

@danthesith @TheAlexNevil So I have to worry about green leafy vegetables too?

[Barry BeNiceButNotSicklyNice @barryjohnharper]

I'm not willing to gamble your family's lives on it being a conspiracy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#WearAMask

[McKay Coppins @mckaycoppins]

Missed this earlier, but @harlan has apparently backed out of his election-night promise to me that he'd eat his own shoe if Trump lost. His reason? "Trump won." (Trump did not win.) https://t.co/6YjQwzqt7m

[Tee Roets @CrazyTee911]

If you know what 867-5309 is then I want to follow you?🎶

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

hug me from behind and tell me about your day

[ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat]

Saturday we saw the movie “Spy Game”, Sunday we saw “Rambo”, Monday we saw “Mississippi Burning”...

I think it’s time to watch something new.

[Ella Zee 🌈👑 @EllaZee5]

Goldilocks and the sheer audacity of this bitch

[Eileen Marie Sarah @EileenMarieSar1]

Breaking News: Hillary Clinton and Hunter Biden did nothing wrong.

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Missing movie theaters. When my son was 3 he was obsessed with ninja turtles. I took him to see Out Of The Shadows. He stood through the whole movie completely captivated and when it ended he started to cry. I asked him if he liked it and he screamed “NO! I LOVED IT!”

[Lost In Aisle Three @LostInAisle3]

@Ingonyama70 @stpeteyontweety @SenTedCruz You have the soul of a poet.

[Lost In Aisle Three @LostInAisle3]

I have been locked out of my other account for saying ted cruz has a rat face.

If you believe @SenTedCruz has a rat face, please reply “@SenTedCruz has a rat face.” Thank you.

[St Peter @stpeteyontweety]

@LostInAisle3 @SenTedCruz @SenTedCruz has a rat face.

[Henry 3000 @Henry_3000]

As it turns out the best part of sin isn't the short lived pleasure, it's the nagging guilt that follows.

[Chincha @chincha33]

Welcome to your 50's! You STILL burn the top of your mouth on pizza. Fuck!

[Chincha @chincha33]

You were supposed to come right home from work! What's that's smell on your feathers?!

[Lost In Aisle Three @LostInAisle3]

@KaylaChowShow @original_af So what can I get away with?