Loyal Lando

rich and handsome playboy
I occassionally help save the Galaxy but only if it suits me...

I'm being hired by Disney cause they worry you all forgot about me

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

Remember how I blew up the death star??

Yeah so does no one else...

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

Playboy pro tip #004

The best way to win a girls hart is to become a famous hero

... A FAMOUS hero; that's where I went wrong

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

People allways called me names like
Louzy Lando
Lame Lando
Lazy Lando
Loser Lando

Can't I for once be Lovable Lando??

[Glum George Lucas @GlumGeorgeLucas]

"The Force Awakens" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards.

How is that even science fiction?

They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."

[Very Lonely Luke @VeryLonelyLuke]

I have no job.

No house.

No transportation.

And no girlfriend.

I'm lucky my parents are dead.

At least now I can't disappoint them.

[Still falling Han @StillFallingHan]

I can't believe they are making a new death star

This time it harnesses the power of faillure and inconfidence...

It's perfect for my son

[shitty wingman Poe @ShittyWingmanPo]

The plot twist we all needed

[Luke Seawatcher @shiterdeshit]

When I illlegally downloaded the plans of the deathstar from BountyBay

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

My Bud, @ChewieRoars always was a musician way ahead of his time

Keep up the good work

[Luke Seawatcher @shiterdeshit]

@ChewieRoars 20 minutes into Star Wars and chill and he gives you this look...

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@light_r3y helloooow who do we have here?

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@ShittyWingmanPo @Rey_blank_ @FinnFriendzoned dangit, not again...

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@Rey_blank_ *deep black guy voice*
Helloooow what do we have here?

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@ShittyWingmanPo @Rey_blank_ You stole my line....
Other than: "hey, what do we have here?"

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@ChewieRoars knew Han made me heir to the Falcon but still flew away with it

First Han stealing my girl, now chewie stealing my girl & ship

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

Playboy pro tip #003

Become homies with @DepressedDarth
Chicks dig it if you have powerfull connections

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@VeryLonelyLuke Han always thought of himself as such a big deal

I gave him the falcon so he could fly away and be rid of him

Didn't work

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@LandoCalrissi16 @sithreepio can you translate please? I think it's some kind of jibberish but don't seem to fully understand it

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

seriously... All these Lando's yet not a single Lobot-account?

You missed your opportunity, @LandoCalrissi16

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

@LandoCalrissi16 exept @Lobot the one true friend...

[Loyal Lando @LoyalLando]

Happy birthday @LoyalLando

There has to be someone who remembered, right?

No one??

Wouldn't exactly be the first time this happened