Luke

Luke is typing...

[Luke @Luk3John5]

"Watch out lads, these bastards could have somebody's eye out" - King Harold (1066)

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU!
Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll— [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

[Rich Bryant @WhiskySocialist]

Dan Hodges has left the Labour Party https://t.co/0ZkQtnf6YI

[The Intercept @theintercept]

In financial industry’s history it’s invented maybe 3 scams total, which it cloaks in infinite number of disguises. https://t.co/NK3omn2eXZ

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

COMPETITION THING:
RT to win a signed copy of #Lifeabet
Comp ends tomorrow (15th) at midday
COMPETITION.
WHY NOT.

[Luke @Luk3John5]

Ixnay on the trying to sing, guys #XFactorFinal

[Mick @nalaknip]

Remember though, Coldplay's drummer is not a twat. #xfactor

[Luke @Luk3John5]

The judges are there, at least ostensibly, because of their musical knowledge. They can't believe the shit they come out with. #XFactorFinal

[Luke @Luk3John5]

*throws rotten fruit and veg at the stage and boos* #XFactorFinal

[Luke @Luk3John5]

@shareadietcoke 59 too many judging by that performance

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

Coldplay, the musical equivalent of stubbing your toe on the coffee table. #XFactor

[Luke @Luk3John5]

How many awards have Coldplay won? #XFactorFinal

[The Intercept @theintercept]

One year after Senate torture report, no one's read it — and it might be destroyed. https://t.co/uVPHE6ymFf

[li ☤ @LinusXV]

#UFC194: @TheNotoriousMMA vs. @josealdojunior (FULL FIGHT) https://t.co/SjI3MpLNWB

[Stormzy @stormzy]

THE FLIPPING CHAMP!!!! @anthonyfjoshua ARE YOU MAD!

[Stormzy @stormzy]

Can't believe I just experienced that, life is starting to feel like a dream. Too gassed right now, thank you my bro 🙏❤️ @anthonyfjoshua

[Luke @Luk3John5]

Dillian Whyte wouldn't get a handshake from me

[ODDSbible @ODDSbible]

Tell my man shut up!

[Luke @Luk3John5]

Levels.

[Luke @Luk3John5]

@JJ_TheActor I WAS ABOUT TO TWEET THIS