MGBeags

Selflessly carrying the burden of being the better looking twin.

[MGBeags @MGBeags]

@stephaniebumga1 @KKTV11News Casualty doesn't always mean death.

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@Beagz Just got my first boner. Let's podcast about it.

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@Reeseforsure That's foreplay, or at least that's what my priest called it.

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@Beagz Watched some baseball and playing some spades.

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@dadmann_walking You made it to "close to 40"? Subtle flex.

[Mark Jones @mpjones1]

Media trainer: don’t repeat the negative, it will be the headline.
Media: did you overpromise?
POTUS: I didn’t overpromise.

[Oksana Masters @OksanaMasters]

I feel privileged to be a part of this campaign with @skims for Team USA, celebrating the incredible strength of female athletes across a diverse range of backgrounds
📸: Shot by Vanessa Beecroft 🖤 #TeamUSA

[MGBeags @MGBeags]

@ATLHailState01 @EPCSheriff Pretty sure El Paso COUNTY Sheriff has no jurisdiction in El Paso, TEXAS.

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@EPCSheriff Ya'all too focused on Santa getting his CCL while the Easter Bunny digging BEFORE calling 811. Karens be slipping.
#EBtheOG
#CallBeforeYouDig
#StrappedSanta

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Don't get me wrong, Sir Anthony Hopkins is a legend but Riz was robbed.

#Oscar2021
#SoundOfMetal
#RizAhmed

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@DadFiction Nice. I'll bring my kids and let you gents handle the birds and the bees.

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I'm not saying Trump ruined the country. I'm just saying that when we join the other G8 countries in the hot tub tonight, we're definitely keeping our t-shirt on.

#TrumpsLastDay
#Trump
#Inauguration2021
#InaugurationDay

[MGBeags @MGBeags]

Trump has finally conceded and is now updating his resume; which I can only assume is a 38 minute VHS tape of him doing garage karate.

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@BiteMeSausage Exactly.

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My night by the numbers:

6 glasses of boxed chardonnay
23 texts to Canada at 3am (You up?)

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@replikate I'm not saying I'm a huge fan of Pence but if he and were in a sauna together, I'd give him a light shoulder massage. You know, to relax and feel welcomed.

[MGBeags @MGBeags]

@missusmelis "Do you have any idea how much ass this guys gets?!"

--sister raises her hand--
"I do."

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@JohnDeGuzzy Sums up my life the last 10 months.

[MGBeags @MGBeags]

Real talk, the happenings in DC yesterday are a tragic injustice against our democracy. But ya'alls tweets, memes and social media posts are hilarious and a new hope for a better 2021. Thank ya!