Tim Moore

(Very) amateur astronomer, supporting Durham Cricket, Sunderland and whoever is playing the Skunks. Hates tennis.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@GRhelp7041 Thank you. It was a hearing aid on seat D58 on the train that was pulled from service at 1915 this evening in Plymouth.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@GWRHelp hi. I left a hearing by aid on train IC88 (RDG to Bodmin) this evening when the train was taken out of service at Plymouth. Seat D58. Is there any way to get someone to look before it gets into service again?

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@only_for_mdl_2 Sure there’s a quiz question here.
Not that that helps Rupert.

[Dan Neidle @DanNeidle]

Rupert Grint just lost a tax tribunal case, and owes about £1.7m. Because of the Beatles. Quick thread:

[TheTimTraveller @TheTimTraveller]

TONIGHT.

Liechtenstein have not won in 4 years. (Last win was v San Marino in 2020.)

San Marino have not won in 20 years.
(Last win was v Liechtenstein in 2004.)

THIS IS, and I cannot stress this enough, IT.

(Going to be 0-0 isn't it?)

[Emil Franchi @emil_franchi]

Stunning from @Beamish_Museum

[Frances Hardinge @FrancesHardinge]

That's a lot of joy to have brought in one lifetime. (As a child I was a Duckula-devotee. I still enthuse about the gleeful, eccentric cleverness of the Cabinet of Dr Caligari Duckula episode.) RIP.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@DawnSunrise1 @juneslater17 Why the last lot invented concentration camps in Rwanda and tried to punish every claimant (costing us taxpayers a fortune in hotel bills), rather than processing them, I don’t know.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@DawnSunrise1 @juneslater17 Answer is process their claims quickly-this is dead money. If they’ve a legit claim, then they can get a job (eg we’re desperately short of social care workers) and pay tax (for the teachers/doctors we also need). If they’ve no claim we stop the money and they have to return.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@only_for_mdl_2

[Sam Freedman @Samfr]

I guess he's going to have to revisit his priors.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@damienpar @JamesRu10689800 @Herring1967 They ask the university. Who should ask you if it’s ok to release the (personal) data of your degree status to an unknown (to the university) third party.
I’ve known of one applicant who said no and the company then withdrew the job offer.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

My twitter autocorrect just corrected Badenoch for Bad Enoch. Fits.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@chrisbeatstim @Samfr Fwiw I reckon it’s even money that LD are the opposition. The more coverage Reform get, the more it hurts the Tories. How long before Farage can claim a vote for the tories is a vote for Labour, as he’s the more likely to win.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@chrisbeatstim @Samfr I assume the local party and electorate might be a mite cross. The rest of us, though, we’ll be laughing. A lot.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@only_for_mdl_2 Just you?

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

I didn’t expect this good Northern Lights from this far down South in Reading.

[Tim Moore @MackumTim]

@AlabamaRitchie @only_for_mdl . We’ve been rumbled. The Toby Truth is revealed.

[Irish Ranger (Sevvy) @VeteranIrish]

British Army Humour

An innocent typo was made and all parties involved have gotten as much enjoyment as they could out of it!

Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long fulfilling career. On the day that he retired he received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and, in particular, the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, (based upon completed years of service), that he would receive in addition to his monthly pension.

The letter read,

"Dear Lt. Colonel Maclaren,
We write to confirm that you retired from the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards on 1st March 2001 at the rank of Lt Colonel, having been commissioned into the British Army at Edinburgh Castle as a 2nd Lieutenant on 1st February 1366.
Accordingly your lump sum payment, based on years served, has been calculated as £68,500. You will receive a cheque for this amount in due course.
Yours sincerely
Army Paymaster”

Colonel Maclaren replied;

“Dear Paymaster,
Thank you for your recent letter confirming that I served as an officer in the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards between 1st February 1366 and 1st March 2001 – a total period of 635 years and 1 month.
I note however that you have calculated my lump sum to be £68, 500, which seems to be considerably less than it should be bearing in mind my length of service since I received my commission from King Edward III.
By my calculation, allowing for interest payments and currency fluctuations, my lump sum should actually be £6, 427, 586, 619. 47p.
I look forward to receiving a cheque for this amount in due course.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Maclaren (Lt Col Retd)”

A month passed by and then in early April, a stout manilla envelope from the Ministry of Defence in Edinburgh dropped through Col. Maclaren’s letter box, it read:

“Dear Lt Colonel Maclaren,
We have reviewed the circumstances of your case as outlined in your recent letter to us dated 8th March inst. We do indeed confirm that you were commissioned into the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards by King Edward III at Edinburgh Castle on 1st February 1366, and that you served continuously for the following 635 years and 1 month.
We have re-calculated your pension and have pleasure in confirming that the lump sum payment due to you is indeed £6, 427, 586, 619. 47p.
However, we also note that according to our records you are the only surviving officer who had command responsibility during the following campaigns and battles;
The Wars of the Roses 1455 -1485 (Including the battles of Bosworth Field, Barnet and Towton) The Civil War 1642 -1651 (Including the battles Edge Hill, Naseby and the conquest of Ireland) The Napoleonic War 1803 – 1815 (including the battle of Waterloo and the Peninsular War) The Crimean War (1853 – 1856) (including the battle of Sevastopol and the Charge of the Light Brigade) The Boer War (1899 -1902) World War One (1914-1918).
We would therefore wish to know what happened to the following, which do not appear to have been returned to Stores by you on completion of operations:
9765 Cannons
26,785 Swords
12,889 Pikes
127,345 Rifles (with bayonets)
28,987 horses (fully kitted
Plus three complete marching bands with instruments and banners.
We have calculated the total cost of these items and they amount to £6,427,518.119.47p.
We have therefore subtracted this sum from your lump sum, leaving a residual amount of £68,500, for which you will receive a cheque in due course.
Yours sincerely . . . .”
😁😁😁

[Sangita Myska @SangitaMyska]

Interesting how quickly parts of the Westminster bubble has lost perspective, so just to be clear:

It’s Diane Abbot MP who has “had a bad week” (she’s the victim of racism) not the Tory Party ( who excused it)

[Michael Dnes @MichaelDnes1]

This weekend, Britain may be about to have its worst traffic jam ever. Up to five hours of delay for 100,000 drivers or more.

Would you believe me if I told you the reason is because Britain's most hated motorway is too good?

Or that someone had a semi-secret plan to fix that🧵

[David Gauke @DavidGauke]

Two US politicians have a great opportunity to serve their nation, even if it involves acts of self-sacrifice. @NikkiHaley should keep going and @JoeBiden shouldn't.