maddie

I’m only here bc Imagine Dragons follows me and that’s my go-to fun fact in all social situations

[k 💫 @ethelcaining]

what's crazy is my kids are gonna be like "mom what was it like to be alive for the pandemic and the storming of the capitol and the attempted assassination" and im gonna just have to be like "well son i just got high and went to work"

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

biden could regain this nation’s trust with one perfect backflip

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

What if instead of recognizing this election we just took a gap term from having a president? I’m down if you are

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Jif Slammed For New Ad Claiming Children With Peanut Allergies Just Lying For Attention https://t.co/yS6vo2V1Gb

[ur mom's gf @sarxbear0]

let’s get drunk and share our hopes and dreams for next year

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

@sarxbear0 They can all eat glass tbh

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

@FiftyLicks My car got stolen today and I had a gift card in there so if someone comes in with a $25 gift card printed on a piece of computer paper that has “1st Place” written on it, spit in their eye plz

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

Who let the intern make this monstrosity

[K-State Football @KStateFB]

frogsarentreal.mp4

[dizzy @rundizzy]

damn shawty that seems indicative of a much larger issue

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl https://t.co/6texKK7Hd1

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

Another piece of my childhood destroyed yay

[Astro Poets @poetastrologers]

Therapist: what’s bothering you today
Capricorn: why can’t everyone just be better & try as hard as me

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

Rich people will have 4 houses but will have the same vacuum from 1997 because they “don’t need to spend $500 on a Dyson” like ok

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

@hourlyhamsters Correct response is “indubitably”

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

@jericahall12 ‼️‼️‼️

[clintoris @clintoris]

Lifting weights to fix depression but listening to Lorde to make sure it doesn’t go away completely

[maddie @MadHowDisease]

My reply to PGE’s auto texts telling me to reduce energy usage during peak times

[Charlie James @malecowgirl]

acab includes people who drive a dodge charger

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Kavanaugh, Thomas Champion Creating Better Future For Next Generation Of Rapists https://t.co/wciGwLTQ6Y

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

The dude who cried about beer on TV has made a BIG decision about your life, ladies!