Mandy Land 🍭

Funny with a side of cleavage.

[Mandy Land 🍭 @MandyLand314]

Damn boy, are you my check engine light? Because I'm going to ignore you until you go away.

[𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝘀. @im_all_id]

Awful time to be alive but truly an amazing time to be a hater

[spanish latte• @4lwayshigh]

sometimes i read a text and think omg what a psycho and then press send

[queensnipee @dablackbarbb]

people say fuck you in so many ways just gotta pay attention.

[A @seattleiminyou]

I think women as a whole need to become a lot more fucking rude

[Mandy Land 🍭 @MandyLand314]

Sombr makes music for people who use Snapchat as their primary source of communication.

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

*casually looking up from phone* shit, am i driving?

[Libriscent @libriscent]

TO ALL CHEATERS AND SIDE CHICKS, KARMA KNOWS YOUR ADDRESS.

[Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩 @Ryan_Daigler]

Covert narcissists don’t rage. Everything they do is sneaky, cowardly, passive aggressive, and behind your back.

[trash jones @jzux]

i hope this email finds you thinking about what you fucking did

[Libriscent @libriscent]

Just because I’m kind to you doesn’t mean I’m blind to the spirit you’re operating in.

[27. @dimvji]

you just have to get really good at continuing

[⚡︎ @_sorrengailll]

As an educated woman, I support abortion only in extreme circumstances, like when someone is pregnant and doesn’t want to be.

[toad @thelifeoftoad]

the summer I learned to live again

[maybe: clare @clur19]

found out my mom has been going on walks in her neighborhood after dark because she is “just so full of rage that anyone who would try to attack her would be needing an ambulance”

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

I've been watching, with increasing anxiety, our neighbor's efforts to build a deck. Today, he asked to borrow a level.

[dick snickers @smithsara79]

me: *telling what i think is a hilarious story from my childhood*

friend: i’m so sorry that happened to you

[Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸 🇺🇦 @coffeeandvinyl1]

We didn't have play dates when I was a kid. Our parents kicked us out until the streetlights came on and the weakest among us ended up on Unsolved Mysterious like mother nature intended.

[〰 Just Linda 〰 @LindaInDisguise]

Looking forward to getting back to my slightly unhealthy routine instead of this terribly unhealthy one.