mark driver

Some of the strongest opinions are held by people who have never been in trouble! --Winston Chekov

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

Me: skids around on icy roads to buy bait, lugs auger down to the lake to drill hole, makes thermos of hot chocolate, bundles kid up, destroys hands with hypothermia baiting dumb hook...stands behind ice-fishing kid like fucking alpha dad.

Kid: (5 minutes) This sucks. You do it.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@FDRLST I try to follow publications I don't agree with to see other perspectives. I'm open to the idea that I'm wrong about things.

The Federalist consistently confirms how morally bankrupt and intellectually dishonest conservative publications need to be to justify bad public policy.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@thinkprogress The diabetic shark has spoken.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

The best part of Murder Mountain is when they say, "Welcome to Murder Mountain" for the hundredth time.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@Liz_Cheney @CoryBooker @BeefUSA Which one of the dead internment kids is that?

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@pareene @em_dash01 Same premise, but it's "Going Through Your Purse" by The Mentors.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@gethoht That was the year that Jethro Tull won best new artist.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

Me: Aside from Weird Al and Elliot Smith, have the Grammys ever featured a single musician that doesn't suck shit?

You: High on Fire.

Me: Whoa.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@GOPLeader Your dumb greasy boss ridiculed native genocide this morning.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@seeshespeak Man, those and ketchup chips.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@pixelatedboat Pretty sure Winston Churchill said that.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@dougpasnak @FiveThirtyEight Ip Man!

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@seeshespeak Love his music, too. But he's Canadian. He belongs on Mt. Tooney next to two Gordons and a bag of All Dressed.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@DasDetTweeter @FiveThirtyEight 50%. The Chinese dude I was talking about is Charles Ng, who is technically a serial killer.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@bungarsargon Me: End Apartheid.

You: So you're racist against Africans.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@GOPChairwoman You assholes raised my taxes.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

9 am me: Looking forward to a productive day of getting stuff done!

1 pm me (cracking third beer): Man, Rick really fucked up in Alexandria.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

@dougpasnak We're all respectfully enraged.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

There's a dude in one of my fantasy hockey leagues who got killed in a car accident on Christmas and his last lineup is consistently destroying the rest of us from the grave.

[mark driver @MarkDriver]

One of the biggest Bay Area villains is the friend who moves an hour away to buy a McMansion and then tries to guilt everyone into visiting them.