Rev. Mary Lou Retton

Godly Gymnast on a quest to thwart the original sin: Space Travel.

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

God’s fake, but that song is a bop. #OtherMysteries #PointOfGrace

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

With our without electricity, my power is grounded in the lord, and fighting to eliminate NASA #TubasInSpace #KnightsOfSchwb @mmallaney

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

The #Grinch didn't steal #Christmas. @NASA did. #FactsFromSpace

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

As his arrival approaches, may we all remember Jesus came from the virgin womb, not space. #NoStarsInVaginas

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

#Champagne has as many stars as the heavens: It is an absolute sin. #BubblesAreSpace

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

We interpreted the Bible as needed to defeat @elonmusk #SatanLovesSpace

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

Lips that touch wine leave space on the vine. #Wine #SpaceIsEvil #Poetry

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

First step: Wall for Mexico. Next step: Wall for space. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #TrumpInSpace @realdonaldtrump

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

@AmaymayPay Now that you're #30 it's time for you to dedicate your life to what matters: Loving Jesus and avoiding space!🚀 #JesusIsWatching

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

@AmaymayPay On this day--and this day only--I give you permission to be a star! #IamNasa

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

Ken Ham speaks the truth! The idea of aliens was created by Satan to trick us into going to space. #KenHam #DefundNASA #SpaceIsForSinners

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

I feel like my body is Holy, but my head is drunk. #NoSlutsNoButtsNoCoconuts #SatanIsIsis #HubbleCaused911

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

@DaneCook I feel this exact way about NASA. #SpaceIsEvil #JesusSavesSpaceSlaves #StarshipManger

[LiberalJesus @TheLiberalJC]

Once you realize that #earthquakes are God farts, the 1 in South America shouldn't be surprising. We all know what #Chile does to the colon.

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

Truth from the temple: Never pay back a Nazi! #JudasGold #InSpaceThereAreNoDebts

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

My face-hole is for Jesus! #Blessed #VirginInSpace

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

On this weekend, remember: God loves all people...except astronauts. #Pride #SpaceIsGay

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

Keep women in their place, keep them out of space! #JustAskEve #KitchensAreGorWomen

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

The Mercury Rocket was a giant baby resonator! #BabiesInSpace #NASAeatsSpaceBabies

[Rev. Mary Lou Retton @MaryLouInSpace]

Terri Schivo was not a pizza #defundNASA #SatanLovesSpace #Handicapable