matisse giordano

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

“@bitchbrunette: Oh is it Valentine's Day week? I wouldn't know. I'm single, independent, and fucking busy.” 💁

[Jessica Hansen @hessicajansen]

High school girls, be nice to the short skinny nerdy kid because he's gonna grow up and be hot as shit when he's in his mid 20s.

[Hell On Heels @HellOnHeelsGirl]

By all means don't answer my text, then blow up social media. Because that's not annoying at all.

[Texas Humor @TexasHumor]

If Texas were a girl, she'd be the prettiest belle at the ball.

[Texas Humor @TexasHumor]

Girls should always stick with the fellas that know how to open a door for a lady. #TexasWays

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

Who needs a boyfriend when you have girlfriends

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

“@shexylexiiii: will twerk for some chipotle or panera to be delivered to me” #nolie

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

Baby girl knows what's up. #gameday #SuperBowl #denver #broncos #bronconation #broncosvsseahawks 💙🔶💙🔶 http://t.co/nEkMalDohB

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

Home girl was extra dirty after the beach today. #beachpup #happy #izzytheslut #sofresh and #soclean http://t.co/ahPcexF8Qa

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

I hate the sound of kissing

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

Should be studying but my bed is way more appealing. #idontwanna #cantmove #cantdoit #toodistracting… http://t.co/HRPU4na89g

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

Galveston has the worst selection of men

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(650): He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.

[Jad Zeidan @jadozeidan]

I need someone to take my phone from me after 2am for sure

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

“@taymowens: "Babe don't put on friends"
"Or lifetime"
So I put on "Americas cutest cats"
#dontmesswithmyshows” #lifetimeandicecream

[matisse giordano @Matissegior]

“@_OneDoesNot: One does not simply dislike Ryan Gosling” #toodamngoodlooking

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

I am a master at pretending to not see people I know in public.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Gettin' real tired...