Megan Carter

Feed people glue? They said it couldn't be done. Now they don't really say anything.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

There is pasta everywhere. It's carnage.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

There are sooo many Italians in my house right now.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I just hacked into Bill Gates back account. His password was *password*.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I'm in love with the boxing teacher at the PCYC. I'm not sure if his name is Matt Hunkington or Matt Superguns.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I've been exercising like a fiend these past few days because new job is influencing me. God help me if I worked in a munitions factory.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

@Nightwyrm Only if I work hard.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

If I stick to my new exercise regime I hope to look like this in two months. http://tinyurl.com/o45vzh Am I aiming too high?

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

It's funny, house sitting for others brings out all your bad habits x10. you know, cheesegrater butt scratching and whatnot.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

@chumprock I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't left my house in months. Thought reading satellites you know.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I can't wait until the weather warms up. It's hard getting dressed under a doona.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

@RealBillBailey I miss the good old days when you could buy a sizable chunk of Stonehenge and wear it around you neck on a bronze chain.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I always get stressed out whenever I watch QI because I imagine I'm a panelist on the show who is expected to make witty quips.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

@tegan That makes me sad and angry. Smangry. I'm going to punch him. Punch him right in the mouth.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I have no doubt in my mind. Or do I...?

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

I've only been eating meat in which the animal died peacefully. I think that cow did look peaceful as it flew over the bonnet of my car.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

When I'm at work and watch the ladies on the treadmills, somehow I think that their effort wafts into me and makes me fit via osmosis.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

@AboutTheFood I know you're just dying to have that instant noodle stir fry recipe back. Mmm mmm.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

Who drinks so much scotch at night he can't recall anything the next day. Meanwhile I have to spend two hours in the bathroom.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

Okay, I figured it out. John Birmingham steals my bonbons and replaces them with bonbon shaped rocks which are then fed to me by Lachlan.

[Megan Carter @MeganCarter]

There can only be one reasonable explanation for my weight gain. Someone has been sneaking into my room at night and feeding me bonbons.