Megan W

Columbus born and raised. Settled in a village of cornfields.

[Mark Pellegrino @MarkRPellegrino]

When satire blends so seamlessly with reality as to be indistinguishable you know the apocalypse is near.

[Matthew Elliot 𓅆 @matttbastard]

become ungovernable

[eliza @elizamclamb]

Too much tummy ache discourse. The headache girlies suffer mercifully in SILENCE. Lugging around 6000mg Excedrin at all times. Suddenly needing 5 hours to lie down with a bag of frozen tater tots on the neck. We are the rightful queens to the common physical ailment throne

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

Hey hey! My team at Big Corporation is hiring Most Depressing Job Title You've Ever Heard. Come work with me!

[DRiley @DRileyamusing]

@DanPriceSeattle Submitted for the meme awards.

[Megan W @MeganGilli]

Watching both ends of the marriage bash each other on Facebook has become an entertainment I’m ashamed to enjoy.

[Evan Stern @evanjstern]

Shower is the cure for everything - too horny? Panic attack? Cold shower. Got the flu? Frozen bones? Hot shower. Crippling student debt? Bust out that loofa folks love a shower cam

[Pope Francis – ARCHIVE @Pontifex266Arch]

God never goes back on His love!

[KATY PERRY @katyperry]

ctrl alt delete it all

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

I’m no HR professional but it’s prob a bad sign when an employee writes an anonymous letter calling you a brain-dead asshole and you can’t even narrow it down to 100 people

[Kid President @iamkidpresident]

Be kind. It's not always easy, but it's always important.

[Lili Reinhart @lilireinhart]

And in the end.... the people you end up being closest to are the ones who send you memes while they’re on the toilet.

[Anna Nonymous @osoplain]

I’m into threesomes. Brisket, Mac-n-cheese and banana pudding

[Josh Radnor @JoshRadnor]

"Every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. We have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. We have never seen a totally sane human being." -- Robert Anton Wilson

[olive @offbeatoliv]

The creator of bologna:

Get a hotdog and sit on it.

[Anna Nonymous @osoplain]

What if all your pent up hostility turns into belly fat

[Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47]

Direct sunlight: that helpful friend who points out all the spots you missed shaving

[Pope Francis – ARCHIVE @Pontifex266Arch]

When you experience bitterness, put your faith in all those who still work for good: in their humility lies the seed of a new world.

[Megan W @MeganGilli]

Now is the time for people to randomly Venmo me random money for no reason.