father odd

we’re here because we’re not all there

[MisterJ🩻❤️‍🔥 @SwiftCraft13]

They did this at work to me today

[Outspoken™️ @Out5p0ken]

I heard someone say Mitch McConnell has Rigor Tortoise and I can’t unhear that.

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

We're experiencing this heatwave because the gates of hell have opened for Mitch McConnell.

[drank gore @thedarkprowler]

Door dashing a chicken patty sandwich from a middle school

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Now that Obama’s poll numbers are in tailspin – watch for him to launch a strike in Libya or Iran. He is desperate.

[chance @chanceposts]

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using chatgpt for anything

[Poo Crave @Poo_Crave]

Amidst rumors and allegations, Hillary Rodham Clinton is reportedly doing just fine:

“People think I’m devastated — meanwhile I’m getting my fujoshi life over here,”

[Barry Malone @malonebarry]

Man, when The Onion hits, it HITS.

[jake @wormpuller]

White people be eating cheese right before bed

[Alex @Mickeymccarv1]

Showing hole

[onion person @CantEverDie]

i love nathan fielders mind

[Harmony Cobel @Harmony_Cobel]

Well flip my toboggan

[Jay in Kyiv @JayinKyiv]

Only 48 hours after Trump's hard turn toward Russia, an emergency meeting of NATO countries, plus Ukraine, WITHOUT the US.

The world is moving on without the US.

[Barflugnarven🇻🇦 @barflugnarven]

You have to say pwease and tank you, Mistow Zensky

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

am actually so rocked by this Joann Fabric news

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

your outie smokes mid
your outie has no bitches
your outie broke
your outie got stank breath
your outie busted asf

[regular sadmeister @gardeinqueen]

so called ‘free thinkers’ when slop in a tube

[scrappy lil rascal just trying his hardest @speedyspeedboi_]

Panera was right to make lemonade that kills you if you consume in excess. Americans must learn the virtues of moderation

[greg @gregfromtwitr]

if I was a drag queen my stage name would be maddam huslays

[Michael Benjamin @mfbenji]

What everything feels like right now