Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm)

Former Crudité Department Manager at Wegners. Writer, Actor, & Fraud Investigator. Well, at least until an opening comes up at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

I meant to write a simple tweet. And then this happened. A rant in eleven parts.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

Whatever they’re doing for fluid retention isn’t helping

But he is extra orange today, so there’s that

[The Halfway Post @HalfwayPost]

BREAKING: The White House media team reportedly held emergency meetings all weekend on how to spin or deflect the fact that he just, incomprehensibly, admitted on live, national television that he's too incompetent to run fair, legitimate elections like Obama and Biden did.

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

When I try to give feedback through your "contact us" function, it gives an error when submitted. No choice but to live chat. First a bot, then a "human" who first tried to fix what I didn't bring up and then admitting that "Actually, the website is outdated". Do better

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

@BNBuzz I am curious why you continue to put Vinyl on sale that you do not have in stock online or in stores. I keep looking at albums and have for about a year, and 90% of the things I would order keep going on sale, yet you never have them in stock.

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

I even check all the stores around me, even a state away, and they don't have them. It seems like you are inflating stock and sales to make it look like you have better deals than you actually have. It is hard to be dedicated to you when I can never get what I want.

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

@Fallout Disappointed. Putting it behind a paywall when you could have just made it a fallout first item and got more people to pony up for that membership. And they would have paid and probably continued to pay. Every time you think they'll give us what we want... Bethesda never changes

[Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates]

very shocking & disrespectful to make light of the Feast of Dionysus; deeply offensive to those who have devoted their lives to feasting, drinking, & salacious behavior.

[Seagate @Seagate]

🛸 It's the final call! Hop aboard the Seagate Starship and win a 5TB Game Drive! #seagategaming #StarfieldGameDrive #Xbox 🚀 Retweet & Win!

T&C: https://t.co/OU3Q9vdtoi

[Carol Lombardini @ItsMeCarolAMPTP]

well we laughed, we cried, we fucked around, we found out, we murdered some trees and we wished a little light homelessness on certain people, but overall i think we can all agree i personally did a great job! now if you’ll excuse us we need to go atone!!!!!!

[Fifty Shades of Whey @davenewworld_2]

'Home Alone 2: Lost In New York' star Donald Trump has been indicted for trying to overturn the 2020 presidential election.

Macaulay Culkin has not yet made a comment on his co-star's alleged crimes.

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

I can see why people are cutting cable. I can see why people are annoyed at your rates and services. You don't seem that concerned about your brand or keeping customers happy, which is good, cause we aren't happy. #NBC #peacock #xfinity #universal #incompetent.

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

@comcast, @nbc is it really a smart business model to offer Peacock to your current internet/cable subscribers for $2.99/month for 12 months and when they do, not actually let them have it?

[Hurricane Michael (Now with more scathing sarcasm) @MichaelDarkbear]

You can cut down trees, and remove shade for protestors, but can you really fix your crumbling creditability? Probably not. Is it any wonder why we gave your survey score a zero? Is it any wonder why your own reps tell us that they are getting so many calls about this issue?

[Qasim Rashid, Esq. @QasimRashid]

Judge Jackson recusing herself from the Harvard AA case despite zero financial benefit to staying on—and Alito, Thomas, & Barrett refusing to recuse from numerous cases where they gained major financial benefit—perfectly summarizes progressive principles & conservative corruption

[Walter Masterson @waltermasterson]

Anti-Abortion protestors get mad when I say the quiet part out loud.

[Cʜʀɪsᴛᴏᴘʜᴇʀ Dᴇʀʀɪᴄᴋ @UnauthorizedCBD]

Saw this today #wgastrong @WGAWest @WGAEast