Mister Simian

Statutory ape

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Look, just because I'm full of passionate intensity doesn't mean I'm the worst.

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Welp

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

The establishment has NO CLUE what the next election is going to be about. NO CLUE. Imagine thinking you’re going to be spending the next year talking about planter’s peanuts and then BOOM, the topic turns out to be platner’s penis. That’s how out of touch the establishment is.

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

More like Jane Bestall

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

We lost a great ape today. RIP Jane Goodall.

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

In The Godfather (1972), the cat Marlon Brando holds wasn’t planned. It was a stray from the Paramount lot. Brando picked it up on the spot, and its purring was so loud it nearly buried his lines.
https://t.co/falS5zl2aN

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

It is the worst of times, it is the wurst of times

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

“Oh shit I’m a moron! It’s a moorean fact I’m a moron” —me to myself just now

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Good lord

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

What lesson did you learn from this?

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Hedgehogs want one big thing and it’s fucking disgusting

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Evergreen tweet

[The Sea-Elephant @blouaugh]

BLOUAUGH!

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

His brain is cooked! His brain is leaking out of his ears!

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

My brain is cooked! My brain is leaking out of my ears!

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

I love them

[Medieval Military Medicine @MedMilMedicine]

The arms of an octopus used by a reader/owner of this manuscript to mark parts they thought were important or of interest
- 2nd half of the 14th century, Bancroft Library, BANC MS UCB 085

[Robert Francis @rbfrncs]

I love asking people to guess how big passenger pigeon flocks could get. 100,000 birds? A million?

Try two billion. In 1860 one writer described a flock of birds a mile wide that took *14 hours* to pass overhead, packed so dense that it blocked the sun.

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

@MattPasienski Soal

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Wood

[Brian Roemmele @BrianRoemmele]

Japan just launched a wooden (yes made of wood) satellite called LignoSat.

It is the world's first wooden satellite and I t'll stay in orbit for six months in an attempt to prove wood is a space-grade material.

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Droughght

[Kairo @Kairo_Anatomika]

But when you see sheep in religious art, they're never Fat-tail sheep. Instead they're always weak-ass European sheep. Entire wars have been waged over interpretations of the bible.

Does no one care about sheep accuracy?

I mean, how could you exclude these guys?

[Kairo @Kairo_Anatomika]

These guys are called Fat-tailed sheep.
They're native to the Middle East and North Africa.

Like camels, they too store fat in one place on their body, keeping the rest of their bodies cool.

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Time for a reboot

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

Pierre Menard, Author of Cat Person

[Mister Simian @MisterSimian]

(We also had a cat)