Platner’s Penis

Waughhhhh!

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Ugh, #LostABet and have to use my #RealName here for awhile

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

I wouldn’t be tweeting this MYSELF if it weren’t serious. I just burst into an emergency strategy meeting—the numbers are worse than we feared. If grassroots heroes like YOU don’t come on strong in 4 hours, I may fall behind. You NEED me to stand up for democracy. Chip in NOW!

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Defendant Juan Ting, the court hereby finds you… WANTING in the first degree!

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Wonder how many birds Pépito has killed

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Sorry wrong window

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Oh god! Don’t stop! Oh god! Don’t stop!

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

I know someone who maintains he’s not very Indian but actually is an utter pradesh

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

If you think I’m stubborn you should meet my belly fat

[Will 🦥 Menaker @willmenaker]

This is extremely funny to do to the quite elderly avatar of White Anglo-Saxon Protestantism

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

@RepMGP

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Please consider the environment before going and fucking yourself

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

🖐️🎤

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

The establishment has NO CLUE what the next election is going to be about. NO CLUE. Imagine thinking you’re going to be spending the next year talking about planter’s peanuts and then BOOM, the topic turns out to be platner’s penis. That’s how out of touch the establishment is.

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

He’s losing it

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

I don’t want to sound like one of those “use it or lose it” guys but… USE IT OR LOSE IT, MOTHERFUCKERS! USE IT OR LOSE IT!!

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

how it feels to say "sprezzatura"

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

The crowd is getting roary…

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

Yin and yang………… THE FLOWERPOT MAN!!!1!1!!

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

@drilbot_neo Buy more candles

[Moongazer @joeybeastmarket]

In the 1800s we had so much free time and love for our world we developed a mathematical formula to calculate the temperature outside based on cricket chirps that is accurate to within one degree

[Platner’s Penis @eelsleer]

@___frye @gasnerpants Neat

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Evergreen tweet