Walter Crunkheit

A story should be all muddle, like a porpoise.

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Fuck you, whoever unfollowed me.

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Call me snodgrass

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Oh to be young again, and also the @CelestialTea lion

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

I know a human skidmark who somehow slid his way through Skidmore

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

One thing people aren’t talking about enough is how trump really fucked up America’s record in wars

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

#goals

[Moe Davis (U.S. Air Force, Retired) @ColMoeDavis]

This is Trump donor and Mar-a-Lago neighbor John Cafaro who got the no-bid contract to install a water purification system for the reflecting pool. He has 2 prior convictions, one for bribing a member of Congress and another for an illegal loan that violated campaign finance laws.

[sebastian castillo @bartlebytaco]

Chotiner: so last night you posted “real pooh bear hours,” implying you were watching winnie the pooh. but based on your internet activity it seems you were on your phone for most of it
me: well, it was on in the background
C: and that’s “real pooh bear hours” to you
me: in a way

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

I’m F-A-T-T fat

[James @15c3PO]

“I don’t like playing street hockey because I always end up eating pavement,” Tom said ruefully.

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Fuck wid me son and I’ll end you, I’ll fuckin SKULLCAP you!

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

You may not like it, but this is what puke performance looks like: *pukes*

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

In my middle school gym class, there was a kid named krassimir, and some kids called him crapsmear

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

All I know is if we don’t beat screwworm, we’re screwed

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

soalie

[Nature Unedited @NatureUnedited]

In Japan, a gorilla named Kiyomasa got into a fight with his mate. She kicked him out of their enclosure at the zoo, and he was later spotted sitting alone, seemingly rethinking his life choices

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

My brain is COOKED! My brain is LEAKING out of my EARS!!

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

If the Knicks win tonight I’m buying a broom

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Wonder how many kids will be named Knickson if the Knicks win

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Call me Dave Gottlieb. That’s short for Depravid Goatlips.

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Karl-Anthony “Strong” Towns

[Robert Wilkinson @robertwlk]

40 years ago today, l asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most gorgeous woman l know to marry me.

All three said no.

[Walter Crunkheit @fakeAPchekhov]

Tired: who is John Galt? Wired: what is john hurt?