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Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
I'm a mom and a bookworm who's way more charming in print than in person.
Joined December 2013
3.6K
Following
4.4K
Followers
7.7K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 8 years ago
I talk to my librarian like he's my drug dealer. "You don't have it yet? I need something now; what've you got? But it has to be POWERFUL!"
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
4 months ago
Spring has sprung! I love going outside and seeing all the Christmas decorations.
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 1 year ago
Why do snowmen wear scarves? Aren’t they supposed to stay cold?
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
almost 2 years ago
Grim Reaper calls: “You will die tonight.” Me: “You could’ve texted.”
Who to follow
Jason
@HeMightBeJason
Alleged Comedian. “CHiPs” Enthusiast. Once I was a DJ at a Middle School dance.
JayMind
@JayMindX
“Writer.” Professional cynic.
S.D. Hintz
@sdhintz
I write scary books and scare myself
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
about 2 years ago
You may say you’re in your 30s, but the amount of spaces after your periods tell me otherwise.
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
It’s time to let it go. It’s hard, I know, but you’ll find another favorite bra, I promise.
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
To anyone who doesn’t believe in magic, how do you explain epsom salt?
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
*Keeps a figgy pudding in purse in case stopped by robbers.*
MomesTheWord
retweeted
Marissa ☀️🌻💛
@michimama75
over 2 years ago
In your 40’s, a wristband from the weekend just means your kid had a meet or a tournament of some kind that you somehow had to pay to get into.
MomesTheWord
retweeted
Stap the Mattness
@Stap_Jr
about 4 years ago
I’d love to know the backstory when there’s three to five little birds chasing a large bird. I suspect some sort of debt has not been paid.
MomesTheWord
retweeted
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO
over 2 years ago
When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you're really saying is “I'm not going to dust for at least a month.”
MomesTheWord
retweeted
SpacedMom
@copymama
over 7 years ago
On a scale of one-to-seeing-your-husband-napping, how annoyed are you?
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
Does John Lennon make anyone else feel like trash? What *have* I done this year? NOT ENOUGH.
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
Who’s the genius that put the holidays so close together? The pilgrims? Jesus? I need to know where to send my complaint.
MomesTheWord
retweeted
🌜🤷♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷♂️🌛
@raoulvilla
over 2 years ago
me: according to Spotify wrapped, I listened to Sarah McLachlan over 123,000 minutes last year therapist: interesting, also I think I discovered the source of your depression
MomesTheWord
retweeted
name cannot be blank
@toomanycommas3
over 2 years ago
Menopause is fun. My 14yo and I are in a race to see who can grow the shittiest mustache.
MomesTheWord
retweeted
Emma Beasley🐝
@JustBeingEmma
over 2 years ago
Our car died. May it rust in peace.
MomesTheWord
retweeted
meghan
@deloisivete
over 2 years ago
Yes, officer, I was going too fast, but to be fair, Carol of the Bells kind of slaps
MomesTheWord
retweeted
Bob Golen
@BobGolen
over 2 years ago
Liquor store clerk: Do you need help? Me: Yes but I decided to come here instead.
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
Who THE FUCK is in the kitchen with Dinah?
Naomi with the blue check mark
@MomesTheWord
over 2 years ago
Scarfing down a meal over the kitchen sink is being a responsible adult.
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