SJ Hiscock

Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community!

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

Look at me! My Twitter handle is so clever! Get it? Get it?! #doubleentendre #dirrty #imnotdoingthisright #howdoihashtag

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

I'm baaaaaaaaack. :) Maybe I'll actually tweet? Though I'll mostly tweet for work. Everybody should follow @sewahouston.

[MythBusters @MythBusters]

‎#sciencefact: When a flea jumps, the rate of acceleration is more than 20 times that of a space shuttle during launch.

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@giftofsong What what whaaaaaaaat? This makes me SO sad.

[Agent Smith @TSAgov]

The best part of waking up is our hands in your butt. #stolenjingle #TSA

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@laurax4trees: "Hey, this place is nice! It has a rainbow on the door!"

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

RT @KimKardashian "God always has your back!" Yea; but not thy ass. I'm just one God.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Tyler Perry's Madea just called and asked if I can help her do bad. Unbelievable. Organizing a class action lawsuit. Stay tuned.

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@laurax4trees Envy.

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@michaelianblack Neither did Florence Nightingale. And she died with a whole hospital terrified of her.

[PostSecret @postsecret]

Anonymous Hacker Group Targets Child Porn Viewers In Latest Effort to Remove Digital Pedophilia from the Web http://t.co/qyTJx7j5

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

"Letting the Wookie win" -- getting cock-blocked by a pretty girl's ugly friend at the bar. #tatooinesexslang

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage the Rain Man's attention span.

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@Kevlarr7 Nnnnope. Thongs would chafe!

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@Gaby_says HAHA. That is GREAT.

[J.I. Retro @JIRetro]

#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage Khloe's Diet

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@laurax4trees I AM. Ish. No, I swear I am!

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@laurax4trees You and your free things. :P

[SJ Hiscock @MoreThanHiscock]

@Kevlarr7 Were he my dad, that would make for very uncomfortable commentary, indeed. Hope your grandpa is classier, haha.

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"Trickle-Down Economics is when poor people who die with no healthcare are liquefied and fed to their young..." http://t.co/O9illkz8