Morgan Shack

I hate doing housework and I laugh at my own jokes.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

I’m “she looks pretty good for her age, I guess” years old.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@HelloFresh @LaserShip I have already been promised a refund for this particular box. My request in this tweet was to rethink your partnership with @Lasership. They are a detriment to your business. I enjoy your service, but you need to partner with a carrier that is reliable.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@LaserShip explain to me how my package was out for delivery 12 mi from my house at 7:45am and then was checked in as “delayed” 65 mi from my house at 9pm with no delivery attempt? @HelloFresh find a better carrier or I’ll find a better food delivery service. This is horseshit.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

The next person who pops up at my desk unexpectedly is getting punched square in the nostrils.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@StefanMolyneux

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

I’m “pinched a nerve in my back while I was putting my clothes on this morning” years old.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@Staggfilms

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@AshleyFrankly @RobertFoster4MS @Alyssa_Milano

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@1lornewalker My dog that weighs like 15lbs. He’s scared of fireworks and thunder so we’re both basically screwed.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

I got too excited about my dog and got the hiccups again.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@BetteMidler

[Kate @yungkatelynne]

no job is worth taking ur nose piercing out for

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

Hard to say who’d be a worse leader. On one hand, Daenerys laid waste to an entire city for no reason, burning innocent women and children alive, on the other, Jon Snow didn’t pet his dog goodbye

[Mowgli @Holy_Mowgli]

not to get political but amelia bedelia is a complete idiot

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@Imzy1991 Soooooo many bagels.

[Rads @_radsy]

“Listen to your body?” dude my body reflexively blows on yogurt just because I’m eating it with a spoon

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

@SaltyCorpse I call my own twins a litter. It’s the offspring that don’t seem to appreciate it.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

I think the part in “Under the Sea” when Sebastian breaks it down is responsible for my love of rap music as an adult.

[Morgan Shack @Morgan__Shack]

I accidentally pressed a combo of buttons that made my spreadsheet zoom in at me, and I legit flinched and ducked. I am not smart enough for this job.