Stuart Stanley

Maintenance Manager. Blood Donor. Blood Cancer UK fundraiser. Father of 2 (plus a cat). Yes, they are the Chuckle Brothers.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@fesshole Their they’re mate, maybe she’s just dyslexic?

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@biltontowers I presume you’ve lost your voice mate?

64 or 24, if you need to sit, a simple “excuse me, would you mind if I sat here?” is extremely polite, and most importantly, free.

Just because they’re being knobs, you don’t need to be a knob and whack it up on socials :)

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@anon_opin I guess it’s not important information, to you…

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@anon_opin Currently sat on a Southbound Northern Line train. Can confirm this is true.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@anon_opin The Anthem by Good Charlotte taught us that back in 2002…

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@VincentStops That’s Chiswick.

But yes, let’s film him to prove our point. Because with no video footage, it didn’t happen, right?

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@neilseanshowbiz @MayorofLondon @LDN_pressoffice @TfL I travel most days for work, and I see it at least two times a week.
I’ve actually clocked someone about to walk through behind me when I was travelling for leisure with a buggy, and stopped just as I’d walked through because like fuck am I letting them through on my ticket.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@RobMarks2805 @LidlGB That’s an option too 😂

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

Hello @LidlGB, we’ve just enjoyed some of these. They were a solid 10/10.

However, there’s a a typo on the box (“chicken tigh”)… I suggest you do a product recall and send them all my way… You know… For err, disposal.

Do we have ourselves a deal?

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@LidlGB Hi Steff, its 4335619325890 from Beddington Gardens, Wallington.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@GriffinTheory @GriftReport Not true. Emergency stop button…

“Oh no, little Timmy’s got his shoelaces caught in the steps!” Imagine wishing five minutes to find the person with the key 😂😂😂

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@EssexgoonerMr That a card residents of the flats above the shops have to to avoid having to go to the public bins.

Think of a key fob to get into a block of flats.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@dudinq__ https://t.co/UZABY5WkxX

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@ayeshakhan7003 https://t.co/UZABY5WkxX

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@anon_opin I think “drunk” is the keyword here.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

Theoretically, if this @Matalan clothing rail falls on me, would I be eligible for compensation? Asking out of curiosity, of course.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

@funboythree @anon_opin Agreed. Biggest mistake of my life was trying a toilet brush. I thought it was the same sort of principle as a toothbrush, but it’s just scratchy.

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

Anyone made the “custardy” joke yet?

#TowerofLondon #Protester #Crown

[Stuart Stanley @MrStuartStanley]

Willing to bet these are the same twats who I see jumping barriers daily!
Meanwhile, I’m paying £10-13 a day to sit in paint fume filled carriages.
@TfL, you need to eliminate the cause, not waste more money with 24/7 cleaning!
#TfL #TakingFuckingLiberties
https://t.co/HoNpAvVd0U