Timothy Clark

Y'know those black box recorders that survive a plane crash. Why don't they build the whole plane out of the black box?? Member of @chimpcopcomedy

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

You know those black box recorders they have on flights? Seen this? Y'know, they say they're so strong it's the only thing that survives a plane crash. What I wanna know is, if it's so strong why don't they just build the whole plane out of the black box?

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

Nice to meet you death, I am become dad

[dibbo @ldibbo1]

That's right, Jeff! CombsFest kicks off TONIGHT! Join us for many fun fillums :)

Tix for this evening and the rest of the weekend here: https://t.co/YJ3f1pSYXP

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

This is so sweet of Dibbo. Yep, two more weekends of Legal Thriller so come on down folks! https://t.co/smtFcKtnwR

Use the code "COURTROOM" for cheaper tickets. It's the best goddamn show I've ever seen in my entire life (biased)

[dibbo @ldibbo1]

comedian's shows I have loved in MICF that are still running:

- Greg Larsen
- @MrTimothyClark
- Burton Brothers (run is over but they have added shows!)
- Sonia Di Iorio
- @tomwalkerisgood
- @lauradaviscomic
- @AngusGordon9

https://t.co/3Ngsy6G8Xr

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

fuck!

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

yay!

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

I haven't twote in a while (past tense of tweet) but I'm doing a show in this year's comedy festival! Tix:https://t.co/EYWI84Wxdn

I talk about movies and the JFK assassination (which I did). Please come so I don't have to make ironic joke lists appealing to other comedians xoxo

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

🚨ALERT🚨Taylor Swift SPOTTED at A1 Bakery right NOW!! The staff are BEGGING her not to order EVERY shanklish pie but the INTERNATIONAL SENSATION is simply TOO POWERFUL and FUELED BY FETA!!! This is NOT A DRILL!!

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

I just flew in from that gender inclusivity conference and and boy/girl are my arms tired!

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

[Popeye the Improv Man] "ok folks, need a suggestion from the audience for what I yam"

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

@SPSSS I've only just realised about the name, bloody hell

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

[Blade walks into the beer garden outside the blood rave in Blade] "Oop, here 'e is. Day walker. One who walks amongt us. All of our strengths, none of our weaknesses. Let you back in did they mate, haha! Nah go on, it has been a while. How's your mum doing?"

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

[mums posting about 2024]

IN
one ear

OUT
the other

[Conor Sheeran @conor__sheeran]

“If we try to play like Mordor in here, we will lose to Mordor out there”

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

A Christmas miracle!!

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

Shit, I had $10 on super mario bros sweeping the Steakies

[Philly Film Critics @PhilaFCC]

For the Philips Steaks Cheesesteak Award, meant to recognize a blockbuster that's hard to ignore, the winner is MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE- DEAD RECKONING PART ONE. The runner-up is GODZILLA MINUS ONE.

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

(gossipy drill sergeant)...I don't know 🙄🙄...but I've been told...😉

[tay. @taynextdoor]

it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

[Clint Eastwood voice] "Go ahead...take my wife...please!"

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

@HarrisonVevo Yeah there's 2 of them

[Timothy Clark @MrTimothyClark]

Stan Original would be such a great baby name