Lisa

movies. music. cats. pistachios. laughter.

[Lisa @MsLisaM]

You know that first time you hear a really great song and know it'll become one of your favorites?
Some people are like that, too.

[Amy 💕 @Amwysoc]

If Microsoft doesn’t work tomorrow, neither am I

[Jason L. Voorhees @JasonLVoorhees]

Okay. I don't get where the "leave milk and cookies for Jason" thing got started, but I ain't mad at it. Unless it has raisins because fuck raisins. They're gross.

.

.

And they look too much like my mom.

#FridayThe13th
#stalkward
#slashtag
#iminyouryard

[Katie @ALadyNamedKatie]

I think gods next test for me should be “can she handle a ridiculous amount of money”

[Lisa @MsLisaM]

I was thinking that Thanksgiving is next Thursday, and just found out it's the following week. What a relief that is.

[Larry’s Twin 99 @LarrysTwin99]

Babe is gonna make us rich by selling Avon and then I won’t be forced to talk to you low-rent scumbags.

[Nyla ❤️‍🔥 @Nylasback]

Fuck mixed signals... clarity is sexy.

[emma @alltheblueroses]

magic sunset

[Lisa @MsLisaM]

@wendchymes Hello, my beautiful friend!

[CoCo @unhingebinge]

A pogo stick is the best way to bounce away from drama.

[The Curious Optimist @VitaeArcanum]

if she has more books than sex toys on her nightstand you’re in for a fun ride

[Sabrina @neu_rot_ic]

when i die can someone make my twitter into a book

[Ȓ̶̳y̵̨̎ @RavenBrood81]

I share a birthday with Tonya Harding and Charles Manson so that information alone is its own gift.

[The Last Unicorn YouKnow @Scorpio1080]

I've lost track of how many end of the world events that I have survived at this point.

[brody @adreon]

The universe sends me good omens in the form of animals resting on my back porch

[Larry’s Twin 99 @LarrysTwin99]

Outlook is down and the people who still have AOL accounts are looking pretty damn smart right now.

[Lisa @MsLisaM]

$21 at Chipotle. #chillis3forme

[Chili's Grill & Bar @Chilis]

EMAILS ARE DOWN AND FAST FOOD PRICES ARE UP!!

keep ignoring your emails & quote this with #chilis3forme and tell us how much you paid for your last overpriced fast food "value meal" and we'll pick 500 people and give them a free 3 For Me on us!!