I just cannot overstate how much everyone misunderstands each other and neglects each other's needs all the time BY DEFAULT just because communication is hard, and not because they don't love each other or aren't trying
Unfortunately failing to grasp this is also the default
Look at this beautiful mountain range in my backyard that I get to stare at every morning while I drink my locally sourced spring water.
No traffic. No humidity. No Whataburger. No people. No Bibles.
Finally, I can begin healing.
@Grimezsz@whyarethis I think we're misled about what healthy aging looks like. A lot of assumptions made about symptoms, hormones, etc attributed to "perimenopause" and menopause that are not even true but we latch onto for a sense of control. Have you looked into Germanic healing knowledge / GNM?
Since this person blocked me, and I assume that deletes my replies? I won't engage with this any further other than to say we gotta stop overusing the word "narcissist" to describe socially awkward attempts at human connection. How does this help anyone.
@TLiterarian That's like, 3-4 pages. What if it was just a 4 page letter with like, 3 lines of poetry woven in? What if she just expresses herself better via this medium? What if she'd like, painted a picture for her instead? Do you see what I'm saying?
@TLiterarian What if she had simply written a letter, or a long text message? Or added her own words to a generic greeting card? Where is the cut off point where this becomes a problem and how can we expect everyone to know what that is?
doing an uno reverse on the expecting people to be on time is ableist bc what if they have adhd discourse and countering with what if the on time person has anxiety and your lateness is causing their cortisol levels to spike into the exosphere
As a former chronically late person, Iโve been in the mindset you're expressing here before. It doesn't just affect you, though, and you know it.
You're fixated on being butt hurt about other people thinking less of you, rather than accepting responsibility for your own behavior. It may be harder for you to be on time, and you may have to take steps to change your patterns that other people never do.
Otherwise, just admit that you don't actually care about the ways you disrespect other people by being late. And if that makes you feel bad about yourself, then start taking small steps to change it instead of reframing a basic social expectation as oppression.
We could all use a little more grace in this area. But grace does not remove accountability.
As a former chronically late person, Iโve been in the mindset you're expressing here before. It doesn't just affect you, though, and you know it.
You're fixated on being butt hurt about other people thinking less of you, rather than accepting responsibility for your own behavior. It may be harder for you to be on time, and you may have to take steps to change your patterns that other people never do.
Otherwise, just admit that you don't actually care about the ways you disrespect other people by being late. And if that makes you feel bad about yourself, then start taking small steps to change it instead of reframing a basic social expectation as oppression.
We could all use a little more grace in this area. But grace does not remove accountability.
I think yall are really missing the โmoral failingโ part of this like yes someone who is chronically late is going to have natural consequences from the society we live in but that really mostly affects them, I do not take it personal if someone is not a good employee, that doesnโt make them a bad person lol and the moral high ground *most* of you act like ur preaching down from is exactly the puritanical shit iโm talking about.
A lot of people use diagnoses like these to make all kinds of excuses for themselves.
You are the only one responsible for your chronic lateness, regardless of the labels you attach to yourself, and it won't change until you accept that.
Otherwise, just be honest with yourself and admit that you don't really care about disrespecting other people's time. And if you do care, but still can't seem to be on time regularly, consider whether you're indulging in a victim mindset rather than taking real steps to change your patterns.
As someone who is diagnosed with several severe mental and physical chronic illnesses, including autism, adhd, and a dissociative disorder, all which impact my perception of and ability to manage time:
Diagnosis, including formal diagnosis (which is really honestly necessary to accurately claim you have many illnesses tbh), is not an excuse. It is an approximate explanation of the characteristics of your dysfunction so you can attempt to addresss said dysfunction and make gradual changes to improve your life.