Naïve American

Just call me Ed.
This place seems familiar.

[Naïve American @Nahdude83]

According to this medical journal salmon are enhanced with a savory herb crust, offering a delicate texture and drenched in a garlic butter bath for extreme deliciousness... Wait .. this is a menu.

[rolo of troy @TheRolo]

Hey Grok make me thin

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[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Before I had kids I didn’t know you could have an entire cabinet filled with just empty cereal boxes.

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

you only get one life, choose who you want to ruin it wisely

[尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal]

Blasting "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" as I drive my car off a cliff.

[Trey @treydayway]

I need a year off from these once in a lifetime events

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

As per my baby book, I held my head up alone the first day I got home. I may be a lot of things, but I was no soft-necked baby.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

Nobody ever got smarter by being emotional.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Everything I know about the law I learned from a guy that records videos for Instagram in his car

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

*at my second rodeo*

You guys aren’t gonna believe this.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

When a volcano is about to erupt, the pencil lead I got stuck in my hand in 1984 starts to tingle.

[尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal]

Seagulls don’t walk. They strut as if they just filed for divorce and won everything.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

The first chapter of my book on passive aggressiveness is “How to master the breath mint”.

[Naïve American @Nahdude83]

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me fiiiiiiive goooooooooooldennn things... Four turensnhhn three French hens two something yeahs and kiss on the tip of my nose.

[尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal]

I sing Christmas carols after Christmas to remind my neighborhood that joy has consequences.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Oh, you miss smoking in bars? I remember when you could smoke in hospitals

[Trey @treydayway]

Merry/happy whatever you believe or need!

[尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal]

A Christmas Carol proves some people need supernatural threats just to say thank you.

[Naïve American @Nahdude83]

I heard that Philip Rivers will be cutting the grass as the halftime show

#MNF #Colts #49ersvsColts #49ers

[尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal]

I don’t hold grudges, I just remember everything forever like a spiteful little historian.

[ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ @iGreenGod]

Be forgiving.
Be understanding.
But don't be a fool.