NakedSuperman

biphasic sleeper, INFJ-T, people lover, vegan, bearded, and contributer to my mother's pain

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

If you ever find yourself being attacked by elderly women, just throw a handful of buttons on the floor.

Old bitches love buttons.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@DrRanj Date? Birmingham professional, looking to marry the hottest, kindest and smartest guy in the public eye. Message me.

[Sarah Larchmont @SarahLarchmont]

I’m actually speechless, Becky. 😳😂🤦‍♀️

[PETA UK @PETAUK]

She's trying with all her might to escape, but her fate has been sealed.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

Your Uber rating is how good you are at life.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

It could be worse, you could have been one of those people who purchase a self-stirring mug.

[k. @themduncan]

straight black folks who couldn’t get through “moonlight” because they saw two queer black men kissing are finishing an entire netflix series where a white serial killer is going around murdering many queer black people.

how interesting.

[Chris Bates @christhemarxist]

Hearing someone describing BBC News coverage as Mourn Hub has made my day.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

I don’t like the person I become when someone else is in the kitchen with me

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@SubwayHelpUKROI Hey, I had an email to get to a Subway by today to avoid losing all my points, so I came today and my points are already removed! Can I get them back please? I’d been collecting those for 6 years! Thanks in advance!

[JasonLastname @JasonLastname]

Rudolf had a very serious case of rosacea you sad piece of shit

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@Primark Wore one of your socks and found this broken sewing needle stuck in my toe!

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@David_Yost You’re the real hero

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@NASA Hey, hope you’re well?
I would like to hold a meeting with you to discuss ideas on how best to destroy the Moon. Could you let me know your availability please?

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@AllCharisma You are, and always were, amazing.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@mc_carron1 Anyone who talks openly is the true superhero here.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

Imagine having 6 friends

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@RCArmitage Damn boy, watching you in Vicar of Dibley ignites a toasty fire in me deep deep down

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

LIFE TIP: Delete the ‘lol’ from the end of your weak ass text

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

@ilovepie84 If someone told me that fisting your grandma burns fat I would be the first to give it a go.

[NakedSuperman @Naked_Superman]

Since I had the house all to myself, I had a cheeky flip through this women's lingerie catalogue.

Ended up spending a fortune.