being an “understanding person” is the worst kind of thing. i repeat worst. you have to understand people’s situations, their problems, their traumas. but when it comes to you, you will scream alone. absolutely alone.
When you genuinely love someone, the idea of cheating doesn't even cross your mind. True love means respecting and cherishing your partner, and not causing them intentional pain. Breaking someone's trust is breaking their soul. If you find yourself unhappy, it's better to walk away than to betray their trust. Cheating is not an act of love; it's a clear sign of a lack of it. Simple as that.
You can learn a lot about people from what they lack. If they lack accountability, they'll shift the blame. If they lack communication skills, they'll say you're arguing. If they lack emotional intelligence, they'll call you sensitive. If they lack effort, they're not interested.
Having an emotionally mature partner is TOP TIER. You're able to express yourself freely and openly. They don’t insult you, they don't give you the silent treatment, they don't become aggressive or manipulative. They listen, they respond – they patiently hold a safe space for you
Regulating your nervous system doesn’t mean you’re always calm or stoic. It means you can feel intense anger or sadness and respond in ways you don’t regret later.