Conker

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

I’ve never felt joy like working a prom and confiscating 126 kids beer.. like it was legit a fucking treasure hunt 😂👌🏻

[House of V @Vxb1]

Just got a black cab from London Waterloo to Great Ormond Street Hospital.

Cabbie wouldnt take money from us - he said all his Ormond St jobs are his way of helping the children.

What a wonderful kind gentleman. Too few like this in today's me me me culture...

[the wicked witch of the east bro @kpfeffss]

Someone asked me what Scotch is yesterday and I said it’s like a vodka soda except instead of vodka it’s Scotch and instead of soda it’s nothing

I am a trash bartender and a trash human

[Jeremy Jarrard @JJ_Jarrard]

We pregnancy checked cows today and one had a tag with the number “2319” and I yelled “WE’VE GOT A TWENTY THREE NINETEEN!!” and no one laughed or knew what I was talking about and now I’m actively job hunting because I’ll never flourish in this environment.

[Emily @__emilyatkinson]

Not even joking soon as I’m on my break I’m oblivious to EVERYTHING in work, extra busy? Blazing fire? Alien abduction? Not my problem on me break x

[Too Real @GlocsAnd6enjis]

Girls who take care of drunk people while also being drunk have wife energy

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

@podgecampbell Miss you too! How’s Ibiza? You still alive?

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

@islayhatton HAHAHAHAAHAHA.. you!? Sober!?

[Molly @Molly_Kats]

The most polite beggar

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

A question I ask myself every god damn day

[Charlie Morgan @_charlmorgan]

Are people becoming more annoying or am I becoming more angry?

[… is tired 🥱 @_kerlizzle]

She told her husband she pregnant with their 4th child 😂😂😂

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

@_jodiemoorex @SNicole2901 @SNicole2901 my laugh at the lakes 😂😂

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

@KetflixPills_ @ChristopherBee5

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

I get absolutely way too much satisfaction from giving people decaf beverages when they ask for caffeinated ones.

#WaiterLife

[Conker @Nikki_Conker]

@KetflixPills_ @FunnyFatPeople_ @SNicole2901

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

me & my friends do this thing where we say “I love & support whatever you do” which roughly translates to “I think you’re being stupid but i’ll let this one play itself out”

[becca @skinnnylegendd]

how does scooby doo make people believe he is a woman by only wearing a hat & a dress at the airport