Nils Parker

Multiple NYT & WSJ bestselling author, ghostwriter, editor.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

Ketchup on eggs is a failure of parenting.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@RealJacobPerry @SeanTrende Sean Trende is not a brain you want to go to battle with Jake, you will lose.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@JonahDispatch The most telling aspect of that Ezra Klein quote, to me, is the absence of the first person plural. It is “I” and “I” not “we” and “we”. Bonded couples building a life together are not asking this question seriously, or rather in serious numbers.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@SeanTrende We’re well, thanks. Holding it down here in Milwaukee. We’re thinking about you guys as you take this next astonishingly profound and wrenching step. And thank you for pouring this moment into words on a page for all of us.

[Sean T at RCP @SeanTrende]

I almost hesitate to promote this, because it wasn't really intended to be a piece. I just sort of sat down and it came out. Maybe someone else out there has the same type of day today, and it'll speak to them.
https://t.co/xSMUDOrHcC

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@Aella_Girl you've just discovered the segment of male Twitter that can't hold a 2-minute plank and has unconsciously built up Casterly Rock-level defenses against acknowledging it--to women or themselves.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

I have come to believe that the only citizenship test that truly matters is the one that involves charting the responses of an immigrant’s first viewing of Top Gun.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

My favorite quirk of Epstein conspiracy theorists is that none of them seem to be able to conceive of the possibility that a dude who knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life in jail getting extorted thru his butthole might consider death a more preferable, painless option

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

Can't wait til Elon & Trump nearly self-immolate, then find their way back together before the midterms under the auspices of supporting austerity candidates in key House districts & everyone starts deepthroating MAGA spin about "ART OF THE DEAL!" & this was the plan all along!

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@ramit Optimization is most insidious because it convinces people with scarcity mindsets that they actually have growth mindsets, when nothing could be further from the truth

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

The snow in this Rams-Eagles game is the perfect microcosm of native Philly fans: mostly white, but also heavy, dirty, sloppy, and aggressively annoying.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

the Venn Diagram of people who can’t throw a baseball thru a hula hoop from 60 feet & the people who’re wondering why every helicopter in the country isn’t just Airwolf-ing it along the ridgelines of the Santa Monica Mountains w/16k lbs of water hanging beneath them is a donut.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@haralabob @bp22 A significant portion of the people in the Palisades who lost everything can afford to not rebuild and not come back. Their decisions are going to change the entire demographic shape of LA County and beyond, if the Coastal Commission doesn’t adjust their mission & incentives

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

The prime ministership of Canada is a job too big for one man. There is only one solution.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

For a lot of people, watching Landman is like going to Mexico or Thailand for vacation: it’s full of hot girls and crazy dudes doing a bunch of wild shit that seems to make sense to everyone else around them

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

Incels are all these things. In my experience, they’re also allergic to looking in the mirror & admitting that maybe they’re the problem, maybe they’re annoying, maybe they need to improve themselves in ways that are relevant to the women they hope to attract.

[Involuntary Celibate (Incels.is) @IncelsCo]

Incels are intelligent.
Incels are sensitive.
Incels are kind.
Incels are gentle.
Incels are capable.
Incels are smart.
Incels are important.
Incels are creative.
Incels are radiant.
Incels are human.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@Jason This is the Q3 planning offsite for the HR team at a Thomas Kincaid gallery

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@ramit "We're getting a blurb from Tim Ferriss, we just sent him a galley."

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@chrisbrockman You can’t be too surprised that the people who are comfortable shopping at the most inconveniently, haphazardly organized market in the world would carry those tendencies out of the store with them and into the parking lot.

[Nils Parker @NilsAParker]

@Jason Camouflage. Full stop.