Fake Quickie Monster

I'm not Jonathan Quick, but... Okay, I can't do the splits either. Or stop a puck coming at high speed. Or even skate, really... I like to sleep?

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

#mysuperpowerwouldbe? I've already mastered quite a few. #thisisnotthenetyourelookingfor #goalieblood

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

#junewish? Now that I definitely can't share with the public...

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@theMitch33 Could you pass that message on to the rest of the team? My equipment is heavy enough without 200 pounds added...

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

Even I with all my mind control powers, too believed that @JQuick32 was the real me... His tweets were way to… (cont) http://deck.ly/~yyXCv

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

No, Drew. I don't know why we weren't asked to play in Slovakia, nor can I use my "powers" to find out. Please stop calling me about it.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@theMitch33 @NAWiskey The day I'm stuck with the two of you on defense together is the day I officially give my position to Bernier.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

Strange. Our resident #proudamerican hasn't tweeted ecstatically about his inclusion in the Team USA roster. Too busy dreaming of Michigan?

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@NotMattGreene Please don't cough near @GoalieLikeG6 or myself. We might get sick. You saw what happened to Detroit the other night.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@NotMattGreene @LAKScapegoat Sometimes it's Chicken McNuggets. I bet he's thinking of that too right now. Are you @notdrew8doughty? Are you?

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@NotMattGreene You know he's going to wake me up during the plane ride home asking me to use my Force powers to open his m&ms, now... right?

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@notdrew8doughty Yes, Drew. I am psychic. I am reading your mind right this moment. You're thinking of tacos, aren't you? Two tacos for 99¢.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@theMitch33 I thought you said you were a Holloway fan. Unless you didn't want him to find out. Maybe I've said too much...

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@theMitch33 I noticed. I've also noticed that you added #winning to that message despite the outcome for our team. Stop that.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@notdrew8doughty It isn't difficult to find you when you think a pillow fort will provide proper fortification against angry enforcers.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@NotMattGreene Terry doesn't mess with us. Maybe he fears the #goalieblood. On a related note, you have a point, but I resent that comment.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@GoalieLikeG6 I thought you two were getting awfully chummy during the Edmonton game... I'll always have Greener, right?

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@AmeriJack3 Stop confusing him. He's going to call me during my nap tomorrow to ask about etiquette and picking up chicks.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@GoalieLikeG6 Thanks for including the almost. I was about to question your logic and I wouldn't want to diminish your feelings of #winning

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

❒Single ✔ Taken ✔ I know this is really for singles to say witty things, but I was feeling left out. Lonely is the head that wears the mask.

[Fake Quickie Monster @NoGoalsForYou]

@AmeriJack3 Really? How interesting. Apparently I always forget that that's what's wrong with you. Meanwhile, I bleed blood. #goalieblood