Demi

certified dog petter

[dave horwitz🪣 @Dave_Horwitz]

cdc says you can now die 5 days after watching the tape from the ring instead of 7

[TINA SNOW @theestallion]

Good morningggg #inmycalvins

[Alex Murdoch @alexgmurd]

short kings only this summer. don’t bother hitting my line unless you’re under 6’

[kelso @slug_lover]

being a woman and driving in Baltimore... iykyk

[Seth Rogen @Sethrogen]

@LilNasX Maybe the best tweet of all time?

[Queen Danielle👑 @_callmedanny_]

A 26 year old woman was found in the harbor... She went missing the night of her birthday after celebrating with her friends... I just need to know... How the hell are your friends not making sure you get home safely... Especially the birthday girl. The story is not adding up

[vessence @faporizer]

imagine how long it takes for smells to reach his brain

[m @motiroti_]

new chapstick for men just dropped

[🏴‍☠️ray🏴‍☠️ @suckmyariesdick]

nooo don't kill yourself we're short staffed ahaha

[Keefler @Keefler_Elf]

does anyone named megan thee stallion want to hang out on february 14th

[jadyn🧚🏽 @jadozyy]

no arrests, just vibes after a long day of terrorism 😛

[Adam Herman @AdamZHerman]

I am no longer impressed that Nicholas Cage managed to steal the Declaration of Independence.

[prance @bocxtop]

lol we don’t stand a chance