Shawn McBride

I'm sorry.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

@emillyorr what kind of messaging things do you use these days and I'll explain

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

@emillyorr you of all people would be less than surprised!

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

... miles to go while I sleep.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

@Bothans Yes, and I am!

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

My attachment style? Unavailable.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

@ToniMenconi I'm pretty broke as a joke lately. Either way I owe you a call for hangouts!

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

I thought Old Portland was dead, but I just walked by a guy smoking a joint, sharpening a machete.

He smiled and said "Hey".

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

Is it OK to like Lana Del Rey yet?

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

I'm saving myself for my second marriage.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

@twid I hope the Friend request comes from a joint FB account Christinaandjake Davies.
#hackers

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

I am too young for Yiddish, and too old for Trap.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

Anyone have any recommendations for decent music by artists I won't care or know about when they die/are revealed to be terrible?

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

It took Ferris ten minutes to violate the Patriot Act, and that was on his day off.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

@moaroracomedy I know I should be mad at this, but I couldn't explain why.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

At the stoplight, my Uber driver turned to me and said "Oh shit, you're still in here?!"

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

Can we please get Tom Waits into protective custody until we're sure 2016 has been stopped?

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

Out of everyone I've blocked on Facebook, I still miss 打田尊志 the most.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

Another sad six word story:
For sale: strap on, never used.

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

Hey.
In case you need to know, my blood type is B+.
Ok?

[Shawn McBride @NotSeanMcBride]

My ex is a minimalist. That's someone who gets rid of everything they don't need or love.