NotSheffieldCityCouncil

Not Sheffield City Council's official Twitter page. All opinions expressed are intended for comedy purposes only. #parody

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@justinmbuxton @Ameyplc Anyone with a modicum of sense knows that the only experts worth listening to are the ones employed by @Ameyplc who are paid to confirm everything we say. Tree felling is good for biodiversity and air quality. #fact

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@nealegwalkley Just reporting the facts Neale. We have to continually counter the ludicrous claims made by these so called "experts", as you well know.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

We're only felling half of your street trees, half for you, half for @Ameyplc. How's that for compromise?

There are 3 billion trees in the UK so it's only 0.000583% of the total UK tree population.

#compromise

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@justinmbuxton @esa Nolan who??

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

After extensive and meticulous searching for these documents, we eventually found them down the back of the sofa with 3 TV remotes and £4.25 in loose change. So all in all another great success story for Sheffield City Council.

https://t.co/afGdMbnNPy

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@justinmbuxton No that would be ridiculous. We suspected alien abduction at one point but this was quickly ruled out after talks with @esa

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@KeaneMJ @SheffCouncil @peopleauditshef We tried to pay for scheme using the tears of children who lost the tree outside their house but unfortunately the developer claimed that it's not a valid currency.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@GertieGreen2 @raringtoread @SheffCouncil @rawkus_marcus @KeaneMJ @natalieben @TheCanaryUK @ChrisBurn_Post @RobGMacfarlane @JeremyDBarrell @MattLarsenDaw @WoodlandTrust @ChrisGPackham @BiancaJagger @patrick_barkham @GeorgeMonbiot @pfiennes @IanTreeDalton @David_J_Elliott Unicorns and rainbows are also integral to the design.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

https://t.co/NYko4YkahY

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

This highways tree was planted in Burngreave by @Ameyplc 6 years ago. What's the problem? https://t.co/LkY1pnNn3p

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

@ChrisGPackham embraced our tree replacement program, by posing as a sapling in anticipation of the new tree being planted to replace a tree we chopped down for being too tree-like.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

"I did not have business relations with that man". Our illustrious leader convincingly denies employing a private investigator firm to covertly snoop on tree protestors.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

🚨WARNING #FakeNews🚨
The true number of Sheffielders who love their city has been reduced to a conservative 37 thanks to our partnership with @Ameyplc. We believe honest incompetence is better than normal incompetence. https://t.co/2Jlq06Pyfy

[Sheffield City Council @SheffCouncil]

Join 113,000+ people who love the city and get #Sheffield news delivered direct https://t.co/zmtcCTrZw4

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

We have reason to believe that the Twitter account @SheffCouncil is in fact a parody account created with malicious intent to spread lies and #FakeNews. Whilst we conduct our investigation please be wary of all posts from this account. See also @Ameyplc and @sccstreetsahead

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

We have been working with Oxford University to change the meaning of the word "target" in order to solidify our stance that the 17,500 number is NOT a target. The word target will henceforth be the name for a middle class tree protestor blowing a small plastic Trumpet.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

A handful of people are still being very naughty. We kindly ask that you OBEY.

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

Yea... As a joke! Where's your sense of humour? You found it funny though right @alisonclareteal? https://t.co/tI0D6VNixV

[Marcus Combie @rawkus_marcus]

@alisonclareteal @DouglasJSheff @rbw66 Play up it's a technicality

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

Making Sheffield greener with @Ameyplc... Honest! 🙄

[NotSheffieldCityCouncil @NotSheffcouncil]

With the festive season rapidly approaching, our contractor @Ameyplc would like to offer this festive message and thank you all for your tax money. 🖕