Paul Writes Stuff

Working on the second episode of @TotalStickShow, but I also wrote @CriminaltheBook
and some crap on Twitter:
HIRE

[Paul Writes Stuff @OffTheLP]

Always make sure you clean under your nails before bed. That way if someone breaks in and murders you in your sleep, you may have clean defensive samples ready for the crime scene crew.

[Gotta Catch 'Em Again: A Pokémon Re-watch Podcast @GottaCatchPod]

Hey! Who wants to #staythefuckhome like @offthelp and Spencer! Check out this very special message from GCEA

https://t.co/hHkGUxoCme

[Paul Writes Stuff @OffTheLP]

My fellow Canadians...are you brave enough to do what we've always wanted to and just #staythefuckhome! Make some art, create a thing...just don't go around spreading the ick!!!!

[Michele Romanow @MicheleRomanow]

Here’s my offer. I will give you 100% of your rent up to $2000 if you help me spread the #staythefuckhome message by retweeting this, following me, and tagging someone that is #stayingthefuckhome.

[Paul Writes Stuff @OffTheLP]

@MicheleRomanow Me and @iwasnt32 have been working on #staythefuckhome for over a month and a half and been trying to spread that message too! Our rent is >$1000 not alot to some people, but a whole lot to us!

[Paul Writes Stuff @OffTheLP]

@WhoseRyanStiles I was waiting for this!

[Gotta Catch 'Em Again: A Pokémon Re-watch Podcast @GottaCatchPod]

In this clip from our very special bonus episode @OffTheLP
And Spencer talk about why they want you to #staythefuckhome

#StayHomeSaveLives #podcast
#pokemon #StayTheFHome
#StayAtHomeChallenge

https://t.co/cBeFzN1oaD

[Gotta Catch 'Em Again: A Pokémon Re-watch Podcast @GottaCatchPod]

Fret not because a #newepisode of GCEA, is out now wherever you #Listen to #podcasts s. This week we are diving into episode 4 of #Pokemon Indigo League, plus actor's spotlight, games, and much more!

#anime #spotify #apple #Anchor #nostalgia #90s
https://t.co/kDsxlZcXGa

[Ryan Stiles @WhoseRyanStiles]

Hey fellow quarantinians!
Today at 4pt Aisha, Wayne, Colin and I will be yuckin it up on a little thing called Zoom. Tune in and hear what Aisha sounds like drunk. I mean really drunk. Not Whose Line drunk. ✌️

[Paul Writes Stuff @OffTheLP]

@WhoseRyanStiles God please someone get me the link for this!!!!!

[TylerTheCreatineHater @chillgates69]

Me: THE ZOMBIES ARE ADVANCING!!!

Leader: OPEN FIRE!!!

Me: *fires but misses*

Leader: I SAID OPEN FIRE!!!

Me: *misses again*

Leader: SHOOT THEM!!!

Me: I'm trying! They're a minimum of 6 feet apart from each other!!

Leader: ᴹᵃʸ ᴳᵒᵈ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐᵉʳᶜʸ ᵒⁿ ᵘˢ ᵃˡˡ

[Kayleecious🍧❤☕ @TweetsByKaylee]

[day 7 of quarantine]

zzz
　＜⌒／ヽ-､_＿
／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
￣￣￣￣￣￣��

　　　∧_∧　oh no
　　 (　･ω･) im late for work
　 ＿|　⊃／(＿＿_
／　└-(＿＿＿_／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

　＜⌒／ヽ-､_＿ lol
／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

[donni saphire @donni]

On the plus side, I *am* crying more! Wait, that’s not on the plus side

[Jennifer Slopez @JennSlowpez]

I finally have time to trap a raccoon and force it into friendship.

[Jemele Hill @jemelehill]

Life comes at you fast

[Jenn7399 @jenn7399]

me trying to not eat all my quarantine snacks on the first day

[Ryan Stiles @WhoseRyanStiles]

In the last week I’ve saved 64 thousand dollars by making coffee at home.

[morgankbell.bsky.social @morgankbell]

The prevalence of tweets going around about people unable to maintain their undercuts suggests that a lot of post-apocalyptic haircuts in movies are highly unrealistic

[Stone @StoneAgeRadio13]

The kid was bummed nobody came to his birthday party.
We had to explain it’s not the coronavirus, no one likes him.

[Gotta Catch 'Em Again: A Pokémon Re-watch Podcast @GottaCatchPod]

📣📢HOT OFF THE PRESS📣📢 A brand new episode of Gotta Catch 'Em Again, is available NOW everywhere you listen to #podcasts.

#Pokemon #Apple #spotify #Stitcher #rewatch #90s #nostalgia

https://t.co/orpnmaYQaQ