Sammy Inc

My superpower is modesty

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

Do you eat the booty?

[JEDWARD @planetjedward]

Donald trump got shot

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

@ATVIAssist How many games do I have to go 0 - 30 in before I get un-shadowbanned?

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

Scene: in a dystopian future a man is doom scrolling on the shitter. His smart watch buzzes to remind him to move. Reality comes crashing back to him as he realises how long he's been sitting there.

This is based on real life events that happened to me just now.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

My cousin's kids just asked me how to spell R2-D2 and that's just lovely.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

French people be like "pain au chocolat?" Like bro who tf is gonna pick pain over chocolate?

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

I just invented the "danger rank".
when queue times for games are long, increase your odds finding a game by searching in two or three different games at the same time. When one finds a match you then quickly cancel the other searches before youre forced abandon one and lose rank

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

"400 notifications!? Someone has a lot of friends!"

No, Susan, I have a lot of anxiety and 4 months worth of unread messages I'm not replying to.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

If your name is Elle then in Spanish your name is The

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

A very special Happy Birthday to the undoubtedly better hand to hand combatant sibling @__con_con__ 🥷

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

@IGFestUK Autumn*

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

When you call a woman a bozo it's actually spelt beauzeau

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

What if as well as minimum wage there was minimum raise. Like an amount employers legally have to raise your wage on top of the minimum wage increase every year of working for a company.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

Is it better to have small pussy energy or big pussy energy?

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

Here Is the full list of things you have heard the word "nursing" being used in relation to:
- nursing home
- nursing a baby bird back to health
- nursing a beer
- a semi

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

If the lyrics to the national anthem change do the lyrics to Seven Nation Army change with it?

[Post Office @PostOffice]

parcels

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

Ladies; when choosing a nice sun hat, please keep in mind the one you pick has already been tried on by 100 dads embarrassing their kids in the store.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

@z_abean @RealRatioGawd @PlayApex Savage.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

There once was a man from Limerick
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Who wanted to write a new limerick
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He couldn't think of a rhyme for limerick
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So he just used limerick
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It wasn't a very good limerick.

[Sammy Inc @OhForFuckSam]

Was Boohbah real or was I just having a fever dream?